“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free…” (Emma Lazarus)

I sought for thirty years for relief from my addiction through my church. My guilt and shame were too great. I felt that no one at church would ever understand, much less accept me. They kept dangling the proverbial carrot in my face that if I would confess my sin, God would just change me.

Tears came to my eyes as I heard the readings in my first SA meeting. “These people understand,” I shouted within. I knew that I was home. As I shared in meetings, I experienced acceptance but I did not feel accepted. As I did service work, I experienced more acceptance and I began to feel more accepted by the group. From the sharing of others’ experience, strength, and hope, I learned that they had no right to judge me. Nine months into the program I accepted the group’s acceptance.

Then, and only then, did I feel that God would accept me. As I surrendered more and more specific behaviors, more and more of the load of guilt and shame left me. More and more of the grace of God came in killing the obsession. The acceptance of SA allowed me to accept the grace of God.

God, today I accept your grace, because you have accepted me.