Much of my life was like the moon. I was the largest and brightest object in the night sky. There is only one moon and nothing shined as bright as me. From my vantage, I was all-seeing and all-knowing.

Despite being the brightest object in the night sky, the moon’s luminous energy is only a reflection of sunlight. The moon takes the sun’s energy and reflects it onto earth for all to see. I too take from others around me in order to make my image reflect and shine brighter.

Like the moon I was not completely visible, for I also had a dark side. My dark side was my addiction. The secrets of my addiction were invisible. Like the phases of the moon, my invisible dark side detracts from the intensity of my lighted image. As my addiction progressed, so did the growth of my dark side, leaving an ever smaller illuminated surface of visible light. I was driven to take more from others in order to maintain my radiant image.

I had only a small crescent sliver of light left. I lived in fear that I would be discovered. It would be doomsday and total destruction if I were discovered. I was finally caught and my worst fears were unfolding. My secrets were no longer invisible and I was exposed for all to see.

But this discovery was not like anything I had envisioned or feared. The opposite took place; I was at peace. God’s grace relieved me of my burden to evermore keep all those secrets. What a relief! In reality, the life-ending cataclysm of discovery that I had so feared was actually becoming the best day of my life. It was my rebirth into sobriety and recovery.

Through acceptance and surrender to my Higher Power, I was becoming sober and exposing the seeds of my addiction: my resentments and fears. I needed my Higher Power’s energy to make me shine. In sobriety He is my solar power. With sobriety the dark shadow of my addiction slowly began to shrink and my reflective surface began to grow and shine brightly.

Would I ever become a full moon and fully shine brightly? Was a full moon His final goal for me? After all, the full moon still needs the sun’s energy to shine.

But the full moon is not enough. For if the earth were bathed in eternal moonlight, nothing on earth would grow. In darkness we hunker down to stay warm. With the earth bathed in sunlight, life grows and blossoms. The sun’s energy drives the weather and moves the ocean’s currents. I need to be more than just a full moon. With the help of my Higher Power, I need to transform my life to be like the sun of my Higher Power. I need to radiate energy.

“We began practicing a positive sobriety, taking the actions of love” to outwardly radiate energy. When I am most like the sun, I radiate outwardly and give to those around me, so that they may grow and blossom. Like the sun, I can shine only one day at a time.