“Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it” (AA 87).

A couple of months ago, it became apparent that I would need to rotate out of the SA service structure due to other obligations in my life. I found myself struggling with grandiosity in the form of fear for the future of SA, and grief for the loss of my GDA friends, whom I would no longer be seeing on a regular basis. One would think it would be obvious when one is acting upon an absurd idea (as referred to on AA page 87), but it often escapes me when I do just that. It helped a lot to study the “spirit of rotation” as discussed in the AA 12&12 and “The AA Group” pamphlet.

While speaking to a friend on the phone, he reminded me that “things happen for a reason” and then “everything is just as it is supposed to be.”

As I reflected on these things, in light of his comments, it occurred to me that all of my angst had been because of my own thinking, which is to say my self-centered, self-concerned view of the world and my place in it. My own presumptions and less than truly spiritual behaviors have been the primary cause of my displeasure. Things are, for the most part, just as I envisioned they would be. But how we got from point A to point B did not follow my map for this part of the journey, thus I chose to be disturbed.

I prayed about it, thought I had received clear guidance from God, and further discussed it with my sponsor, who essentially said the same thing my friend did. And I prayed about it some more. Then, to my great personal consternation, the rest of the players did not follow the script! Who wants to sweep the floor when he can simply be the director, even if one doesn’t have any discernible history of being a successful director or even of being a director period?

As things continue to unfold, and I allow my sponsor and others to wipe a little dirt off of my spiritual glasses, I may finally see that things are just the way they are supposed to be.

My perception of the guidance I received, my reaction to that direction, and the resultant actions since have still brought me to the same basic position in which I thought I would be. Who am I to tell God how to accomplish what He has so graciously shown me? Isn’t that like saying “God, wait a minute, I agree with your plan, but it would work better to do it this way.” I can only imagine how God gets a deep belly laugh at times while watching some of my ideas unfold. But then again, that is as it should be.

After all, God gave me Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts for Service, along with the SA fellowship, sponsors, and other spiritual guides to help me find my way. As long as I continue to practice these spiritual principles with as much willingness, honesty and open-mindedness as I can muster, it will all continue to be just the way it is supposed to be.

Yes, I am coming to the end of one season in my life, but a new season is already beginning. Whatever role God assigns me, I need to remember that things happen for a reason. I rarely need to know the reason, and that is just the way it is supposed to be. Thus I am now stepping into the future without fear, and without hanging onto those absurd ideas.