There are probably as many ways of practicing humility as there are people in the SA Fellowship, but a few are common to all of us. First, we admit we need help daily. Second, we ask for help. Third, we accept the help we receive. The only condition is that I can’t ask someone to do for me what I can do myself at the time of asking.

The help I need today is different than the help I needed when I first got into the program. That does not mean I am beyond needing help. Constitutionally, I’m disinclined to ask for anything. I am conditioned to ordering things, paying for things, and arranging the delivery of things and services. Asking allows me to define the help I need. Asking makes me vulnerable, opens me to the scrutiny of others. Asking makes others aware of my needs. Asking empowers others to participate in defining what my needs are. To realize how hard this is, I only have to remember how close to death I had to come before I could ask for help with my addictions.

God knows how hard it is and meets me more than half way. He made it possible for me to put myself in His care before I asked for help. Coming in, I was “in a state of mind which can be described only as savage” (12 Steps & 12 Traditions, 25). Mercifully, all that’s required is a desire to stop. If I had the desire to stop, I belonged, even without asking.

If I don’t like the help I’m offered (“Is there anyone else up there?”) it may be because my requests are unreasonable in the first place, or I’m asking for the wrong things. Either I accept the help I’m given or re-examine what it is that I believe I need. I must act in good faith on the help I receive.

When I make asking a habit, I grow in humility. The only thing that stands in the way of asking is my ego, the Great Wall. Asking and receiving is the way life is supposed to be. I ask the Higher Power and my fellow SAs for help, a listening ear, their time, feedback. I write out the help I receive with my life, especially from the Fellowship. I keep a current list of people who attend meetings and who fill service positions. I contemplate the list and remember how much we have in common and that we need help with our lives.