I arrived 45 minutes late to my first SA meeting. Actually, I was a lifetime late, but that is another story…. It was also the 20th anniversary of the death of my mother and the beginning of my connection to a fellowship of people around the globe that has supported me into my seventh year of sobriety, which has seen fruits in my personal and professional life I would never have even dreamed possible, even before my life fell apart. Other than that, it wasn’t a remarkable evening.

I had planned to be 45 minutes early, since my therapist and very upset wife had impressed on me the importance of my attendance. I got turned around on some one-way streets and had to do quite a bit of back-tracking to make it back to the meeting location a full hour later than I had planned. I was expecting to be late; everyone looked over at me, but I just dealt with it. What was surprising to me was that the meeting wrapped up a few minutes later! It turned out that the meeting time was also listed incorrectly on the website I had found: it really started 30 minutes earlier than I had thought (yes, our fellowship is not perfect). Then, something wonderful happened. A group of guys came over to greet me and help me feel welcome. They started telling me their stories. That helped me feel comfortable telling mine, which was not very complicated. Every time I sat in front of a computer (alone), I browsed porn and masturbated. I even did this at work after hours despite being caught several times by co-workers. Insanity! Even though I was 45 minutes late, I was starting to find the solution I didn’t even know was possible.

Today, I am more than seven years sober. I am able to be fully present with my ten-year-old son, even when at events where attractive females are present. I have a wonderful relationship with a spiritually-minded woman which does not involve sex. Maybe someday if we determine if we are a good match and get married, we can take things further. My professional life has gotten the traction I have always hoped for. I am even on good terms with my ex-wife, the mother of my son, who respects me for my sobriety and recovery. These are fruits which would simply not be possible if I were still doing things which I knew were really bad for me and feeling the resulting guilt and shame. So, even though I was late to my first meeting, I was right where God wanted me to be.