Dear ESSAY
Dear ESSAY, Thank you for this topic on Grieving In Recovery. It has helped me reflect on how I cope with grief since being in recovery, compared to before.
What’s Going On in SA
SA has a set of Trustee Committees (see Concept 11) that provide advice and perform tasks on behalf of the Trustees. The Information Technology (IT) Committee is commissioned to develop and maintain the sa.org website. This website is often the first contact newcomers have with our fellowship and serves as a hub for providing information, literature, and services to all SA members. We would like to keep it in tip-top shape.
Editor’s Corner
While every ESSAY edition is special, carefully thought out, and filled with SA recovery, we would like to describe this edition as unique. The Fellowship has had many losses in the past year. Some experienced loss in recovery for the first time. Can the Twelve Steps and the Fellowship of SA aid those grieving?
Remembering the Isms
Sharing the wisdom of David M. to help us let go, grow, and remember. Maynardism: The opposite of love is indifference. When one is angry or critical of another, that is not indifference. That is an expression of caring. Learning to accept caring in the form of judgment is important, though rarely pleasant.
The Three A’s: Awareness, Acceptance, Action
The January 29 reflection from The Real Connection has had a profound impact on my recovery.
He Captured Our Hearts On Video
Cesar’s videos can be viewed on the ESSAY website on the Videos Page on https://essay.sa.org/videos/.
Breaking Through Resentment and Numbness
I didn't know what grief was or what it felt like before recovery. Lust numbed all my emotions, positive and negative. I rarely had feelings when pets passed away. It felt like it was just part of life.
SA is My Family, as Most People I Loved Are Dead
As this headline suggests, I have lived through the deaths of my large childhood extended family, where I lived and thrived. Then, in midlife, my beloved husband died tragically. My circle shrank to my parents and grandmother, but in 2020, my cherished father and grandmother both died in lockdown, with all the severe trauma that involved at the time. Even my former acting-out partner will be dead by now.
Bringing Us Together
"Have you worked the Steps on this issue?" Sylvia asked me that question regularly when she was my sponsor. The question stays in my head, and it comes to the surface when my Higher Power knows I need help. Seven women received many wise suggestions from Sylvia as our sponsor or as our friend. We united in our grief to have an online memorial, a memorial on Zoom, and a memorial published in the June ESSAY magazine. Sylvia passed away in October 2024. One of the women interviewed me and Sylvia's former sponsees and friends to paint a picture of her gifts of experience, strength, and hope.
Lifetime of Tears
I have a lifetime of tears that are trapped like an ocean, deep within the inside of me, The pain and the fears, and a lingering notion that one day they'll all be set free. But for now, as new tears are gathered and added deep behind an impenetrable wall, The pressure increases as the stability decreases, awaiting the eventual fall.
