Fear prevented me from experiencing healthy guilt. Guilt tells me I have done wrong. Fear also prevented me from feeling healthy shame. Shame is a slight embarrassment that others may see my wrongs. But fear primarily stopped me from facing toxic guilt and toxic shame.
Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.
“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.” My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.
Dear ESSAY, I am an incarcerated person in California. In the past, several of my fellow incarcerated persons and I have held SA meetings on a regular basis, and I've actually had a sponsor before. However, over the years, things have kind of fizzled out, and we no longer have our meetings, mainly due to members being dispersed throughout the system and some of the participants having been paroled.
How the semicolon etched into his skin saved him from ending his life. Bang! Bang! Bang! “Police! We have a search warrant!” It happened when I was 52, in the third decade of my marriage and teaching career. I carried with me lies and a lust-filled lens on life. Throughout my life, I had crossed so many lines that I had fried my moral compass, which led to a continuation of my sick habits. However, the moment I heard the banging on my door at 6:00 a.m., and an officer announcing “search warrant,” I knew that my fried moral compass had just exploded in my face. I wasn’t surprised, but I was devastated and relieved.
God removed her fear and replaced it with faith with works. My whole life, I’d been so bound by fear, I’d lost hope for freedom. Through working the Steps, a brilliant light at the end of a long, cold, and dark tunnel suddenly shone forth with a comforting warmth.
SA kepted him sober while therapy helped him heal from trauma and shame. My wife discovered my addiction for the first time before we were married. I promised if she gave me another chance, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. That turned out to be a lie. She discovered my addiction for the second time after I got myself into a legal situation.
Working the Steps on fear allowed her to take action under God’s guidance. I’ve been married for almost 50 years. My husband has been unbelievably cruel, but I’ve been afraid to leave. My biggest fear has been that I wouldn’t be able to support myself, that I’d be homeless.
He experienced a transformation from SA that helps him see is true identity. The Problem is not the problem! When I came to SA in 1999 due to personal, family and relational crises, my feelings were all over the place.
The Steps removed shame and perfectionism, a deadly combination that blocked her from being vulnerable.
