Step 4 was not an easy one for me. After a lifetime of burying feelings, it was hard for me to recognize when I was feeling resentful and afraid. But I did my best knowing that it doesn’t need to be perfect and that I will have my whole life to go back and rework the Steps as I continue to grow.
I had the opportunity to serve on a Friday night last February at an event that I had wanted to serve at for five years, but before never had felt ready to serve because of my addiction.
During the Covid pandemic, I returned to Ireland after many years teaching in Asia. I spent two weeks living in quarantine in a remote cottage in the countryside. I used to join the daily mid-day Irish SA phone meetings which helped me to stay sober one day at a time.
Dear Essay, Part of me is a grateful recovering sexaholic. God has kept me sober since 12/17/17, and all I have is today. My sponsor suggested I write this letter, and it’s a great opportunity to reflect on my recovery and God’s work in my life. I am convinced that any success I’ve enjoyed is due to God. The Third Step Prayer says “please take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life”. My hope and prayer is that the letter bears witness to God and his ability to bring beauty from ashes.
Isn’t it ironic: in our disease, we had no choice but to act out; we simply had to; but in recovery, our hearts change and we have no choice but to reach out—we simply have to. Everyone who gets sober, who begins to experience the fruits of recovery wants, as a natural consequence, to help others get sober, especially newcomers.
It has been very important for me to complete my SA Twelve Step work with my sponsor. It has been equally important to keep all SA letters and worksheets to show to my parole board that I have been taking actions to get better. They have been looking to see whether I am sober from my active addiction, and have a post-release support group.
Kawy shares in the article “Helping Others By Showing Up” how her way of helping newcomers to stay in SA is by sponsoring some, showing up, and being there for them in different ways.
It fills me with awe to write this ESSAY column each issue. Who would have thought, when this sexaholic entered a meeting many years ago, that my experience and recovery could help so many? I get to share with you all the marvelous things that contribute to international recovery all over the world.
השם שלי הוא יושי, יש לי רצון עז להפסיק להתאוות ולהיות מפוכח מתאווה. ההחלמה שלי החלה ב-29 ליולי 1994. אני עכשיו בן 77 וזכיתי שהיו לי הרבה אירועים 'מצילי חיים' בחיי.
לאחרונה ציינתי את שנת הניקיון החמישית שלי ב-SA ומעולם לא יכולתי להיות יותר אסיר תודה על כך. אני זוכר שדיברתי עם חבר ותיק אחרי פגישה במדינה שלי. עדיין הייתי חבר חדש ב .SA-הוא היה בתוכנית שמונה שנים. שאלתי אותו מה לעשות עם החברים הישנים שלי עכשיו שאני מפוכח. הוא אמר לי שאני לא יכול לשמור על קשר עם חברים מהחיים הישנים שלי כי זה מסוכן וזה עלול לפגוע במפוכחות שלי.
