“Baby, it’s cold outside,” are words from a classic wintertime song. For those of us who live in Southern California, “cold” means that the temperatures have dropped below 70 degrees. 70 degrees will be the average daytime temperature for the January 2011 SA/S-Anon International Convention.
The Big Book says that “resentment is the number one offender” of alcoholics (AA 64). I can’t help but think that ego is also the number one killer of sexaholics.
I resisted coming to SA at first, thinking that the sobriety definition was extreme and insisting that I was not a sexaholic—just overly romantic. But I had been in other recovery programs long enough to hear things like, “If my way is not working, maybe I should try what is working for someone like me.”
While on vacation, I went for a walk through a nature preserve. To my surprise, I saw a patch of wild raspberries. I couldn’t resist picking a handful. They were delicious. I walked in that nature preserve nearly every day for a week. I kept finding more delicious raspberries.
I’ve heard many times in various recovery programs that “Coincidences are miracles where God chooses to be anonymous.” In my personal experience, that statement has proven to be true.
The Third Tradition is a bringer of many gifts. It makes me a member of the Fellowship. It identifies “lust” as my problem. It is the spiritual link that joins me to other recovering sexaholics and ensures that the meeting will be a safe haven where I can bring lust to the light.
When I started working the SA program, I really didn’t know anything about the Twelve Steps. I was relieved to find that Step One appeared to be so self-explanatory. It asked me to admit that I was powerless, and that was easy. I had already lost my marriage, my business, my house, and the care of my children.
On Halloween Day 2010, I stood at my father’s bed and held his hand and forehead as he passed on at age 90. It was time. His life had not been what he had wanted for the past three years—since a large heart attack—and his health had become gradually and steadily worse. So this was peaceful and a time of appropriate ending.
As a member of the SA’s International Committee, I serve as the contact person for the SA community in Russia. I grew up in Moscow and moved to the USA over a decade ago. I found sobriety here after hitting bottom in 2004.
I first went to SA about two years ago, after several years of membership in another S-fellowship. “Knowledge and pride were our chief obstacles here” (SA 91). There was hardly any sobriety in the few young SA groups in my country and no group recovery—and the sobriety definition was being neglected.
