Beyond My Wildest Dreams
I’m Dave, a happy recovering sexaholic, sober since November 23, 1990. Today, because of SA, I have a better life than I could ever have imagined. But my life hasn’t always been so happy.
SA CFC
The CFC met during the convention in Chicago in July to discuss our committee’s purpose, goals, and methods. Our primary purpose is to support prisoners, staff, and their families. Approximately 20 meetings are held in prisons in 10 states.
What’s Going On in SA
Dear Fellow SA Members: The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday July 8-9 prior to the July convention in Chicago. Attendees included 15 Delegates, seven Alternates, seven Trustees, four Trustee nominees, one representative from SAICO, and several observers.
New Meeting: Ottawa, Canada
Several of us drove to Ottawa on August 23rd to support a new Ottawa SA meeting. Ottawa (the capital of Canada) has not had an SA meeting since 2003—so we are very grateful to one of our members for taking the initiative to start this meeting.
Only God Can Change Us
A member of our group (I’ll call him Billy) has been incarcerated for several years due to his sexaholism. He has developed a beautiful spirit while in prison, and shares with us regularly by mail. In a recent letter he said, “Doing time is not that bad if you focus on building a relationship with God and not get caught up in the junk that goes on here. It’s only by God’s grace that I’ve been able to get through this.”
The Ungroup
Sometime back I read a short article that was published in ESSAY (2007, Issue One, p. 9). The article caught my attention. In it, Ed R. shared his practice of setting his phone alarm for 12:12 each day. When the alarm goes off, he says a short prayer of thanks for the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
The Weak Link Exposed
I had been triggered. I was stressed out. I was working my program, but I was in an ugly place. I wanted to vent and complain. I felt justified and was going to let the world know about it. I made a program call.
The Value of Sobriety
Like many others, I came to SA for what I thought were good reasons: to get something back, to find something better in my life, or to satisfy some requirement. Yet I really didn’t believe that I was a sexaholic. I knew that my sexual acting out was causing me some problems, but a sex addict? Never!
Comfort: Internal Versus External
In previous visits to see my family, my wife and I have established a boundary of staying in a hotel. We learned to set this boundary through experience: it gives us space, privacy, and comfort that we would not have if we stayed at a family member’s house.
Making Amends
In recovery, I’ve learned to make prompt amends. In the past, when I wronged someone but did not make amends right away, the wrong would haunt me for days. A quick amends, however, can erase the toxicity of what I’ve done, and often creates a new connection with the other person (as well as with myself).
