Bringing the Inside Out
With his sponsor’s help, he learned to deal with shame and guilt. As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable (Twelve and Twelve 50).
Grateful I No Longer Do That
His gratitude list was the hammer that crushed his guilt and shame. I didn’t think I was fearful. I was a strong, tough male who had gotten in fights before and played contact sports like football, hockey, and rugby. So I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything.
Addicted to Shame
An elder member in SA helped him see that he was addicted to himself. “You’re the most arrogant [person] I have ever met!” Although a more colorful word was used instead of “person,” this statement still saved my life.
Weaponizing Guilt Into Shame
SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessary Fear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype.
Meditation At The Heart
A powerful practice that prevents him from reverting to his past ways. Today everything felt serendipitous. I met a couple who were splendiferous. Ladyewell, near Preston, a Holy Shrine. I met a couple who gladdened my mind.
What Keeps Me Sober?
A letter of experience, strength, and hope to encourage the Fellowship. Dear friends, There is a strong message that was recently shared in our West African SA fellowship.
Coming Next
Our next edition’s theme is “Rigorous Honesty.” The first words in chapter five of the Big Book tell us that recovery is not possible without the capacity to be rigorously honest. What a wonderful gift to know that we can choose honesty for today, and if we are powerless over dishonesty, we can ask God to remove our dishonesty and gain honesty by helping others. We can also seek outside help. The Steps teach me the process by which I can learn to become aware of the truth and to share that truth with others.
Editor’s Corner
Fear prevented me from experiencing healthy guilt. Guilt tells me I have done wrong. Fear also prevented me from feeling healthy shame. Shame is a slight embarrassment that others may see my wrongs. But fear primarily stopped me from facing toxic guilt and toxic shame.
Discussion Topic
Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.
What’s Going On in SA
“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.” My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.
