The Steps Changed Me; I Had Found the Solution
Feedback Corner
As requested in the March 1997 issue of the Essay, below are some ideas for increasing the distribution of the Essay.
The Hardest Lesson is Surrender
I know the discouragement and self-doubt of sitting in a meeting room by myself over and over again and waiting for someone to come. Then when they came, I spent years being discouraged at the people who didn’t stay. In our early days in Bozeman, one other member who had often been the only other person in the meeting, said, “Why aren’t people staying?” I was finally able to laugh and ask him back, “Why would a person be crazy enough to walk into a meeting with us two lunatics and want what we have?” It takes time to have enough to offer people to stay.
Examining my Motives for Starting an SA Meeting
In the wake of the new focus on book study meetings a few years ago, I wanted to start such a meeting Thursday night, a night when there were no meetings in my metropolitan area. Admittedly, I wanted it near where I lived as well, but other SA members did live in the vicinity. I approached the church that I attended and was given permission to use a classroom for the meeting.
Commitment to Service
Service is important, for a number of reasons. First and foremost, it is usually more difficult to relapse when giving service than when not. However, “service” is not a sure fire “cure” for relapse, but it certainly helps.
I Could Not Attain Sobriety on my Own
I write this to express my gratitude to my Higher Power and SA for the gift of sexual sobriety. It has been a goal all my life but I could not attain it on my own, no matter how I tried. God knows how hard I tried! I grew up in an alcoholic home with a lot of violence. My father was an alcoholic who never got into recovery. My mother was a devout Irish Catholic who taught us children to be loving, decent and above all, to be chaste. I could not live up to that and consequently, I was prey to a lot of shame and guilt as I grew up.
Progressive Victory Over Lust
Two years into the program and growing more and more cocky about my power over myself, during my first major crisis I slipped into my old patterns. Caught by the trance leading up to masturbation, I ended two years of what I would now call abstinence. In the carelessness brought on by thinking I was in control, I acted out.
Using The Tools
My family and I took a vacation recently. In preparation I called motels and found one near our vacation area that was affordable.
Greetings from Guam
Greetings from the Guam SA Group. We’re alive and well — three regular members, with perhaps a fourth.
“A New Beginning”
Around 40 SAs and S-Anons from the U.K., Ireland, the USA, Austria and Luxembourg gathered at a retreat house atop London’s Mill Hill for “A New Beginning” over the weekend of March 21-23.
Impressions of OKC
[The Oklahoma City Jan. ’97 SA Convention] was my second convention in the States — the first was of another S-fellowship. What impressed me about this one was the substantial number of members with five to ten years of solid sobriety. There was a very strong emphasis on the solution rather than the problem. It was also great to see so many people from different ethnic and religious groups. It was a great reminder that this disease is no respecter of persons.
