Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny
We are very excited about our upcoming trip to the Southeastern Correctional Facility near Lancaster, Ohio. We purposely scheduled this visit around the SA International Conference in Cleveland on July 9 – 11, as it is our hope some members attending the conference will be able to visit the facility July 9. We will leave the hotel at 10:00 a.m. and return at 10:00 p.m. The facility is about three-and-a-half hours south of Cleveland.
The last edition of Sexaholics Anonymous Member Stories was published in 1989. We currently sell about 500 copies of this every year. The SA Literature Committee intends next year to publish a new volume tentatively titled Member Stories 2000.
Recently a motion at my local Intergroup almost failed to win approval. Had it failed, two members with less than 30 days’ sobriety would have provided the margin for defeat. By comparison with AA, on whose experience the Traditions are based, the sobriety of AA representatives to Intergroup is generally measured in years. At the group level, many SA groups require members to have 30 days’ sobriety to vote at business meetings. Intergroup reps should have at least the same length of sobriety to vote.
The Northwest Region held its biannual retreat May 23 – 25. There were 70 members of SA and S-Anon in attendance.
Over the past months, 12 SA groups in the northern Virginia/Washington D.C. region have voted to clarify “spouse” and “marriage” in the SA definition of sobriety, stating that sober sex in SA can find its expression only in a vowed and legal union between a man and a woman. This clarification now is read at the beginning of these groups’ meetings.
Dear Roy, I read with great interest your recent article “The Luster’s Fear of Dying” in the [Spring 1999] issue of the Essay. Personally I have witnessed this extreme fear of dying while undergoing the detox process of God’s powerful grace acting deeply in my being and restoring sanity. The entire body is visited as well as the soul during this spiritual experience leading to new freedom and joy. I am really indebted to SA for the experience.
It started about eight years ago when several men who were awaiting sentencing began attending local SA meetings. Although I suspected they were attending the meetings in an attempt to influence the court, I gradually learned this was not the primary motivation of all of them.
My story of sexual sobriety is like an exodus story. In May 1997, I left familiar surroundings and boarded a flight to Rome. On that day I surrendered everything to God—my addiction to lust, my life and work as a priest, my objects of sexual obsession and emotional dependency, lustful movies, pornography, inappropriate touching of minors and women on public transports, having to resign from a job of trust, loss of trust, dignity and direction, and a cancelled schedule for psychiatric treatment.
For me, the concept of SA surrender calls to mind the image of a balloon being inflated. As air surges into the balloon, a battle begins. The air, called lust, says, “Ever see a balloon burst? It doesn’t have a small, neat hole in it. It is totally blown apart. I’m going to burst you into tatters and shreds.”
I have been sober in SA for a little over four years. I would like to share some things that have worked for me as a single sexaholic:
