Sexaholic at Ten Years Old
We are grateful to SAICO for your support to our worldwide fellowship, and we are privileged to contribute to your efforts. Most of our group projects are coordinated with our Intergroup: Fall marathons, Spring retreats, Pass-the-Message Committee, Phone Committee (now with email, too), among others.
[An attempt to put together the 12 Steps, Traditions and Promises after the dog ate my Step work.]
When I first read this Step in the White Book I thought it was the simplest of the Twelve. After all, it’s only a “decision.” I figured the Step would take me all of five minutes, mirroring the experience described in the personal story “Flooded With Feeling” in Alcoholics Anonymous.
I don’t just have a problem with sex—I have a problem with life. And whenever I forget this fact and begin thinking I’ve gained control of my life, that is when I am without defense against the first drink of lust.
I am addicted to an attitude. This is very different than being hooked on something that is outside my body, like drugs or alcohol. I am powerless over an attitude that involves instincts other than my sexual instinct.
Every morning while the water is heating for my coffee, I write in the notebook I always carry in my pocket. This is in the form of a personal letter to God on the following topics: my feelings, how I am doing, and what I am harboring.
Why am I here? Dear God, help me find these twelve rewards:
Some sexaholics say they had euphoric recall—making it sound pleasant. Today, I realize it is addictive craving and delusional thinking.
In my addiction, I isolated. No real friends. No real connections.
There is a good story in the AA Big Book, called “Acceptance Was the Answer.” The author writes, “At last, acceptance proved to be the key to my drinking problem,” and goes on to say, “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”
