One of the most important gifts I’ve received as the result of working Step Four has been the ability to get free from resentments more quickly and easily than ever before in my life. And along with freedom from resentment, I experience a level of peace, calm, and improved relationships which I never would have dreamed possible.
When I was working Step Four with my sponsor, he suggested that I pick one person, institution, or principle at a time and write up an inventory to share with him specifically about that one person. It was a lot of hard but very good work that resulted in a significant change in how I see myself in relation to others and God.
My name is Jim B., and I’m a sexaholic in recovery. For the past three months, I’ve been working on my Fourth Step with the guidance of my sponsor. The journey has led me through the gamut of emotions, and it has given me a significant amount of insight into how my past characteristics have manifested themselves and impacted others.
As part of my recovery over the past five years, I’ve made cartoons based on recovery concepts. Translating my recovery into visual terms helps keep me focused on the solution. The cartoon below came to me in May of 2009, while at the house of an old-timer in the UK where I was staying to work the Steps.
In July 2011, our 6:30 group (under the Nashville Intergroup) decided to have monthly speaker meetings. One of the first talks was on Step Four. The speaker focused on the Big Book pages on how to work Step Four (AA 64-71), and as he went along, he shared his personal experience related to working each phase of the Step.
This Step is the beginning of a life-long process of self-appraisal and accountability. If you continue in this journey, you will have many more opportunities to review your conduct, motives and shortcomings, and take action to change. I rarely listen to a sponsee’s 5th Step without discovering another example of how my defects of character injured me or someone I love.
Have you been in recovery for a while and find you’re facing new, baffling difficulties that your current program isn’t adequately addressing? Or do you feel like your recovery has slowed down and you can’t shift out of first gear? If so, perhaps it’s time to revisit the Fourth Step.
About a year ago I worked the Twelve Steps with my sponsor. I thought I was doing fine even though my sponsor left town. Then I noticed problems developing in my relationship. My wife noticed it too. She said, “Things were going better when you were working the Steps.” So I decided to do another Fourth Step focused on my relationship. I got a new sponsor to work with me. Here are the defects and fears I identified, followed by the way I have put what I’ve learned from this Step into practice in my life.
…Our SA fellowship here has been a great help to my sexual sobriety. In our last meeting, we talked on the Fourth Step. I have found that by working the Steps, I am continuing to grow spiritually. As well as constantly being aware of my addiction.
