My recovery requires me to form new habits. It takes time to develop a new habit. The accountability of a daily check-in was absolutely necessary for me to get the momentum required to make something routine. But, even this was not enough to motivate me to be consistent. I shared my struggle with another member and we had a new idea.
A paradox is a statement that apparently contradicts itself and might be true. “When we surrender our ‘freedom,’ we become truly free” (SA 81).
There is no magic involved in staying sober. It is not a do-it-once-and-get-it-over kind of job. There is daily Grace and Help from our Higher Power, the benefits of working a program in the SA Fellowship, and “one-day-at-a-time” honesty, openness and attention. I have to pay attention to what I am thinking and doing; we have no vacation from sobriety work! Here are some practices I have found helpful over the years.
In the past, a big part of the reason why I felt that I had little value as a person was because I did not own valuable things. I didn’t own a fancy car, live in a dream house, or flaunt a stylish wardrobe; I didn’t have an impressive career in which I could rub elbows with the rich and popular.
I can hear my sponsor’s voice, passing on the words from his sponsor and his sponsor’s sponsor: “Things get worse; IT gets better.” I do not have to wonder anymore what IT is. For me, today, IT means life, serenity, acceptance, gratitude, living without expectations, finding the power to be useful and to carry out God’s will for me.
