I am sitting here on a Madrid to Edinburgh flight waiting to take off. Last Friday I walked to the convention center. I knew I had not registered. Having emailed two of the core committee I knew the important thing was that I got to the center. Soon after entering I offered to help the registration team with the influx of 300+ members wanting to register.
When I walked through these doors, all I knew was that I had screwed up, got caught, and wanted to get out of my predicament. My wife was ready to end 38 years of marriage and be rid of me—and my mood swings, impatience and insatiable demands for sex. I got a sponsor and began the Steps.
For many years in my adult life, even after coming to SA, I did not enjoy the year end holiday season. Even after celebrating Christmas seasons with my son and my ex-wife, I have struggled with a sour and grumpy attitude about the whole experience. During the last five to ten years of my “sober” marriage with my current wife, my dark holiday cloud at times brought her to tears.
My disease destroyed the relationship between my father and me. He was a dominant alcoholic, disapproving of everything I did. Phone calls with my father ended with me throwing my phone to pieces against the wall. I believed this was a reasonable reaction for someone with a father like I had. I always acted out after calling him. My resentment against my father was fuel for my sexaholism.
The last two weeks have been a huge opportunity for me to grow along spiritual lines. As always, if I just look, I can see how everything is interconnected, and teaching me new spiritual lessons.
I would like to share how the program has given me the gift of lowering the volume of my fears. I cannot say that they are totally gone, but today I can live with them. I used to wake up in the morning with a feeling of dread when facing the day. The day scared me: the responsibilities, the fear of disappointing, the fear of surprises.
He sido una persona que a pesar de haber estudiado una carrera humanística siempre viví una vida en la que el centro de todo era yo. Yo no le servía a nadie. Más bien, y salvo pocas excepciones, me servía de todos y de todo.
Recently I asked the Illinois Department of Corrections for permission to start a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. They denied my request, saying that they use a research-based model in the treatment of addictions. I was dismayed. While there are many components in an addiction, there definitely is a spiritual aspect. Can research be made on a process that takes place in the heart?
Dave T. (the Stringman) recently visited Australia with the support of various International SA committees, for which the Australian SA fellowship is extremely grateful. Dave came to Australia because we want and need to hear from the sober old-timers while they still can make the trip to the other side of the world!
I grew up as a kid in San Diego. My parents fought a lot. When I was seven years old my mother committed suicide. I became afraid, lonely and isolated. After my mother’s death I started going to religious services with my father. He became very involved with religion and I absorbed what I could. I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. I wanted badly to fit in.
