I used to rock climb. I mean the big mountains, like the Grand Teton in Wyoming, 13,775 feet tall. These experiences taught me some valuable lessons. When I climbed the big mountains, I never climbed alone; I was always roped together with a friend as we climbed over dangerous areas. Can I apply this lesson to my lust addiction? You bet.
Throughout my life I used food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, sex, work, and achievements to fill up a gaping hole inside which never seemed satisfied. I had an insatiable need for recognition from people. I viewed everything through a prism of me, self-obsession to the nth degree.
Two weeks ago I had cataract surgery in my right eye. It was easy and painless, and I recommend it. The additional benefit was that it changed my way of looking at things. All I have to do right now to see the change is to close my right eye and look at the world…dark, blurry and yellow-tinged. This is my old way of seeing things. Then I close my old eye and look at the world through my corrected lens…light, clear and sharp.
My name is Martin and I am a sexaholic from Berlin, Germany, sober since August 2014 thanks to my Higher Power and the Fellowship. I want to share about my first year in sobriety.
As a young man, he experienced the bondage of lust. Even becoming a priest didn’t solve the problem. But he came to SA, and found a new freedom when he got sober at the age of seventy.
I just finished a two-hour working session with a sponsee at a coffee shop. We were upstairs, mainly deserted, only one couple at the far end, who looked like they were down on their luck. I used the restroom and headed out when I noticed the gentleman that was upstairs coming down the stairs. I realized I had left my brand new cell phone on the sofa that he had just passed. I went and checked and it was gone.
Transcribed Talk from the SA/S-Anon International Convention — San Antonio, TX 1/12 – 14/18 Okay everyone. Wow! I’m Harvey A., sexaholic from Nashville, TN. I’ve been sexually sober thirty-three years and ten months. But there is someone in this room who has more sobriety and who is a pioneer of pioneers. To be a woman, and the oldest in sobriety basically, and to break these frontiers, Sylvia, would you stand? [Applause]
I left home at 21 and moved in with my boyfriend. I had been attending college full-time and had two part-time jobs, but I dropped out of school and work so I could spend more time acting out sexually. I felt a lot of shame, so I convinced my boyfriend to marry me. Sometimes we acted out by watching porn. When my husband wasn’t home, I would look at the porn and masturbate. We were both sex addicts, and we raged at each other daily. Lust killed our relationship.
I discovered lust around puberty through a porn magazine and quickly became addicted to masturbation and fantasy women in stories, pictures and eventually clips and movies from electronic sources.
I have to remember that my lust has not gone anywhere since I got into recovery. I’ve just been holding it at arm’s length. If I think I’ve got some sobriety so that now I can relax and I don’t need to work so hard to stay sober, my lust is right there ready to step back front and center in my life.
