Consistent with Tradition 11, AA receives promotion and referrals from medical professionals, therapists and psychologists, clergy, corporations, and the media. Thus members need not break their anonymity to promote AA. I believe that we in SA need to be seen. Otherwise, we let professionals, clergy, and other S programs treat most of those seeking help.
One Sunday morning driving along a beautiful lake I recognized that I was feeling serenity and gratitude. That is a renewed experience for me.
I don’t know if my experience is like anyone else’s or not. But not only did I never “figure it out,” trying to figure it out became a roadblock to surrendering (give up, let go, and let God). This kept me from having the necessary change in attitude and taking the action Steps necessary to connect rightly with God and find sobriety and freedom from lust.
My Step Eight amends list had one individual who was going to be challenging. I was hesitant because I feared a confrontation. I knew that I was wrong and I would have to admit it to him. This had been a burden on my soul and there was no moving forward into the grace of my Higher Power’s forgiveness if I held grudges toward others.
Why are the 12 Steps in the order they are? To me, coming into SA, they just seemed so random. I didn’t care. I just did what I was told to do to get sober. I’m of the mind that it is NOT critical to understand why the Steps are the way they are at the start. But, as the Step 9 promise goes, “we will suddenly understand situations which used to baffle us.” I think that goes for the mysteries of the Steps too as we progress in sobriety.
I am ready in Step 7 to ask God to remove another shortcoming and in Step 9 make amends to someone I hurt. I was ready with resentment and anger when my spouse opposed me or came to me with a complaint. In truth, it was never the content of her words but the temperature of my lust fever that determined my response because I wasn’t getting what I wanted.
It happened again. I was cooking the family meal and suddenly an attractive woman I know came to mind. I started thinking about her personality qualities and wondering if maybe God would want me to ask her out. It wasn’t lust, I thought — I was only thinking about her personality!
At first, Step Three for me (“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”) was just the surrender that I heard talked about in Sexaholics Anonymous meetings.
Bruce A., a grateful recovering sexaholic, sober since January 2019. I am thankful for the SA fellowship with our Bottom Line definition of sexual sobriety. For me, part of my daily working the Steps is reminding myself I am powerless over lust in all its forms. I admit that any lust drink can plunge me into the pit of my life being unmanageable.
I am Kristina from Germany and sober since March 2016 – one day at a time by the grace of my loving Higher Power. When I worked Step 2 with ‘Step into Action’ I wrote something about my Higher Power. As I search for many years in several religions where I could belong to, I found something very very important about “god of my understanding” who gives me strength: for ME it is a SHE most of the time.
