Theme

In the beginning of recovery, when I was struggling to find long-term sobriety, every relapse seemed like a death sentence. This was a delusion and a lie. Who was judging me? Not my Higher Power. I was the judge, and again I was making myself the god and center of my world. My Higher Power never stopped desiring a relationship with me. He was and is the real center of the world. He was not concerned about judging me. His intention was to call me away from bondage to lust because it blocked our relationship. For this reason, guilt did not serve me. Guilt distracted my attention from seeking help from my HP and from the help of others in the SA fellowship.

I met my sponsor at an online SA meeting that I had never before attended. The fact that both I and my future sponsor decided to join that same meeting on the same day is evidence of my Higher Power’s love for me. Meeting him came at a time when I felt alone and disconnected, longing to feel loved and understood by my Higher Power.