The XII Convention of Sexaholics Anonymous in Colombia In the peaceful town of Paipa, Boyacá, known for its hot springs and mountainous landscape, the XII Annual Convention of Sexaholics Anonymous was held last August. At the “Les Foyers de Charité” Retreat House, 42 men gathered under the theme “Hope for Freedom.” For three days, connection and recovery were the central focus of the event, where commitment to sobriety and hope guided every activity.
I didn’t think I could ever get sober. But “God could and [did when I sought Him]” (AA 60), and He does for [me] what [I] could not do for [myself] (AA 84). The White Book assures me, "...we started sharing at meetings, telling our story, bringing the inside out. And we discovered that the way to feel better is not only going to meetings but taking the risk of self-disclosure” (SA 65). This is my story in addiction and in recovery.
I came to SA in November 2007 and was granted the grace of sobriety from the first meeting. It was the beginning of SA in our country, we didn’t have SA books or materials, so we used the support of NA-program Step books and an NA-sponsor. I first got involved in SA-literature translation in 2008 when I was offered to translate SA-literature into my native language.
A while ago, a fellow in my home group went through a difficult time and wondered why God let it happen. This reminded me of something that happened for me about two years ago.
One of the highlights of the international convention in Los Angeles was finally meeting my first (and now former) sponsee, John H. After six years of phone conversations and occasional Zoom meetings, we met in person in California. Being my first sponsee, he often referred to himself as my “guinea pig.”
As a chronic, hopeless sexaholic, I have no human defense against lust. When I lust, I cannot stop. As a chronic sexaholic I have a physical allergy to whatever chemicals, neurotransmitters, hormones—you name it—that are produced by my own brain and body when I am lusting or engaging in selfish sexual behavior. My mental and physical reaction to those substances differ from the reaction of normal people.
Because of Step 1, I have come to accept that I am completely powerless over lust. I strive daily to apply this principle in all my affairs. I try often to remind myself that I am powerless over what life gives me, be it work, family, emotions, events, or anything else. When I used to relapse frequently, I would justify both my thoughts and behavior with the excuse of powerlessness: If I’m powerless, then I have no choice but to act out, right?
I reached out to an SA member in June 2017 in response to his email sent two months before, and I knew I had a problem with my compulsive behavior. On a daily basis, I was satisfying my “needs” like an automaton programmed to perform repetitive searches. I kept trying to fill the terrible emptiness that my secret life hid for ages.
I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.
Some years ago, we started an online Persian SA meeting, which was the first online SA meeting as well as the first mixed meeting in our fellowship in Iran. In the beginning, there were some technical and online cultural issues but overall no major problems.
