I viewed men as toys or saviors but never as human beings. They filled my time until I found THE ONE who became my god. The fear of not being loved or accepted drove me into depression, misery and fear of abandonment. I believed that the ONE would fix me and fulfill my fantasies and dreams. But each time I sank deeper into a living hell, taking the abuse and telling myself that I was the problem.
I’m River W., a sober SA woman from Kansas City, Missouri. My sobriety date is August 26, 2015.
I came in fearful and trembling as a newcomer to SA. My first meeting didn’t really happen. I arrived fifteen minutes early and the door was still locked. So I sat in my car to wait and watched as one, two, three, four, five men arrived, one at a time. No women. I was too frightened to go in.
I left home at 21 and moved in with my boyfriend. I had been attending college full-time and had two part-time jobs, but I dropped out of school and work so I could spend more time acting out sexually. I felt a lot of shame, so I convinced my boyfriend to marry me. Sometimes we acted out by watching porn. When my husband wasn’t home, I would look at the porn and masturbate. We were both sex addicts, and we raged at each other daily. Lust killed our relationship.
On July 3rd, 2004, I left a family holiday party early to go to my first meeting. I even changed from shorts to long pants as I knew shorts were not supposed to be worn at meetings. My family assumed I was going to a church meeting, and I did nothing to correct them.
Good morning recovery family. My name is Esty L. from Miami and I am a recovering sexaholic. My sobriety date is February 26, 2012 for which I am never sufficiently grateful. I am the fourth of 15 children. I grew up in a loving home with two devoted parents who did the best they could to provide me with a stable home.
Dear Essay, Hello! I want to report from the Together And Never Alone Again Convention May 5-7, 2017. I can hardly digest the miracles and blessings that filled our weekend. Only that I cannot be thankful enough to Essay and to the entire fellowship for holding us in your hearts as well as in your prayers last weekend. We felt your support, really.
The SA sobriety definition holds the modern mold of woman up to the fire to evoke a discussion on femininity and reshape an authentic design. The 12 Steps of SA are a catalyst for positive change, leading women to discover beauty apart from vanity, influence apart from manipulation, style apart from materialism, sweetness apart from passivity, and womanhood without degradation.
What does it mean to be free of lust? Esty: For me to be free of lust means many things: being present, living life on life’s terms, not objectifying myself or those around me, seeing the humanity in people, being other-centered and unselfish, feeling compassion for others, accomplishing things, not wasting time, and being sensitive to other’s needs.
There’s a subtle difference between gladness and gratitude that I’ve been pondering for a while. I write a gratitude list at the end of each day, but a lot of times I’m just writing down things that were ‘good’ that happened in a day. Things like “I’m glad there were no cars in the apartment parking lot right next to me so I could more easily back out” or “I’m glad the weather was nice today so I could take a walk at lunchtime” or “I’m glad that my good friend called me to talk.”
