Fishing
When I first came into SA, wrote my Step 0, and came to meetings, I knew what I had to do. I deleted the phone numbers of three guys I had acted out with. I closed down my Instant Messenger program and removed the program from my computer.
When I first came into SA, wrote my Step 0, and came to meetings, I knew what I had to do. I deleted the phone numbers of three guys I had acted out with. I closed down my Instant Messenger program and removed the program from my computer.
Acceptance is a big part of my program today. Acceptance keeps me out of expectations (premeditated resentments), resentments, and revisited resentments. I can take “hits” off of any of these, and these hits can lead me directly to lust. One thing that helps me a great deal is using three simple slogans.
One morning in the spring of 2000, my mother threatened to throw me out of the house when I arrived home at 5:00 a.m. I ran away that night so I could continue acting out. I was 21. I had been attending college full-time and had two part-time jobs, but I dropped out of school and didn’t show up at work so I could act out.
I am powerless over lust. Lust has made my whole life unmanageable. Without this program I could never stop acting out, no matter how hard I tried. I found the SA program in 2003, but left after I decided I could work the program on my own.
My name is Jo; I’m a recovering sexaholic in New Zealand. I have been sexually sober by the grace of God since April 7, 2007.
Leprosy is a dread disease. It horribly disfigures and numbs one to pain. If that were not enough, there is an immense social stigma involved. People do not associate with a leper and keep their distance. The leper cries out, “Unclean! Unclean!”
I remember sitting in our counselor’s office when my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I was devastated. Not because I loved him all that much. My ongoing emotional affairs with the men at work, combined with sexual fantasies and masturbation, were dearer to me than my husband was at the time.
Gold and silver are not beautiful and pure until heat is applied. The dross then comes to the surface so that it can be skimmed off. Diamonds, before the chisel, are inert, ugly rocks. Incense, without fire, has no sweet smell.
I have often heard old-timers say, “One day at a time.” At first I didn’t understand. I was struggling so hard to string together even a few days of sobriety. I thought that when I reached 30 days, I had arrived. I just didn’t understand what it meant to have sobriety, just for today.
Mixed face-to-face meetings are a great place for me to learn to respect myself in the presence of men. I have the option to go to a women-only meeting, but I have found (after hiding out in that women’s meeting for a year or two) that the mixed face-to-face meetings are 10 times better for my recovery and healing.