I had just arrived at the Nashville airport when I got a voicemail from Jim. The message was “I just got back from the doctor and he told me I have six months to live.” Jim was dead within two weeks. After receiving the message, I immediately called him. I told him how much I loved him and how he was always the brother I never felt I really had.
A few weeks prior to this conversation, Jim was in a great deal of fear not knowing whether his various cancers had come back again. As his friend, I was heartsick thinking he might be having recurrences. As his sponsor, I reminded him of how we had been having a daily reprieve from a fatal disease for almost a quarter of a century. I reminded him of the miracle he had been experiencing as he flourished in his SA recovery.
I knew Jim through SA for more than 23 years. For the past 15 years I was his sponsor. I never ceased, in all those years, to be amazed and transformed by his spiritual greatness. We talked often about our weaknesses, but this never stopped Jim from moving on and on into even higher spiritual realms. He worked for years in the United States helping clergy who struggle with addiction issues. He eventually spent years in Uganda helping clergy with addiction issues. He did this while coping with his own medical chemical imbalances that required various medications at times. I’ll never forget the conflict he shared with me, in deciding whether to minister to others in Ireland (his ancestral homeland) or go to Africa. He was led by an inner voice to go to Africa where he found his spiritual homeland. If he had not gotten sick, he probably would have remained in Africa.
I need to remind the fellowship that Jim had been celibate for almost 25 years. He was single for his entire SA recovery. By the way, not having sex of any kind did not kill him. It was the cancer that got him.
In closing, I received an email from a priest saying that to Catholics, Jim was a Saint. I needed to remind this man that Catholics did not have a monopoly thinking Jim was a Saint. I, as a Jew, also believed Jim was a Saint. This tall, distinguished looking, soft-spoken man was a spiritual giant. His sexual addiction was not a curse for him to bear but was a transcending challenge to his spiritual life. He was able to remain in recovery through thick and thin. Some of the last words I said to him were that if there is anything I accomplish in life, it will be to die sober. I truly believe he was able, through the Steps, his Higher Power, and the fellowship to die a sexually sober man. May he rest in peace.
His good friend,
Harvey A., Nashville, TN
