My name is Tom M. I have been in recovery and sober since December 2007. Recently I had a phase when many things bothered me. I was mad at people at work, my wife’s requests didn’t make sense to me, things at church annoyed me, and the list went on and on. There was turmoil and conflict in my mind as I tried to process and deal with these events. I was definitely not experiencing the peace and serenity that are promised if we are working the Steps.

My sponsor, after hearing me rant and rave about all the unreasonable, crazy, unfair people in my world, offered me some insight. He said to look in the Big Book where it says: “But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got” (AA 66). “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone…” (AA 84)

He also reminded me that this statement comes soon with Promises three and four: “We will comprehend the word serenity” and “We will know peace” (AA 83-84).

This immediately caught my attention. I had always loved reading the 12 Promises and seeing them come true in my life as I worked the program. But lately, I was not experiencing these promises in my life but wanted to. So I agreed to try applying this concept of not fighting for a few days. I soon began to experience relief from my turmoil and negativity. I stopped opposing people even if I knew that I was right. It just wasn’t worth it. Peace and serenity began to return and I was so grateful. Now, as life happens, I face difficult situations. I try to remind me of this idea so that I can continue to enjoy peace and serenity.