Hi. I’m Bill. I’ve been sober for seven years. I’d like to share a new tool that’s helped me in my struggle to become increasingly lust-free.

I’ve been able to maintain SA’s sobriety definition, and I’ve had many behaviors, such as explicit pornography or extra-marital fantasy, eliminated. For that I’m eternally grateful to God, to family and friends, and to the people and principles of the Program. What’s difficult is that often I’ll get tripped up in a gray area. Examples: the selection of a TV show or magazine article; choices made while web surfing; the path I take while driving home. Am I lust-free?

The tool God gave me is something I call a Lust-Based Decision. Or an LBD. Rather than focusing on the outcome, I challenge the initial intent. If I chose an action because of the possibility, however remote, of a lust-hit, it was still a concession to my disease and an intentional turning away from God. So now the question I ask: “Is there an underlying lust-based motivation in the action I’m about to take?” If so, it’s an LBD and I need not go there.

I now disclose any LBDs in the shame question of the daily renewal and go through them in my weekly check in with my sponsor. I don’t like doing this; it’s destroyed my wiggle room, my ability to justify. But it’s what I need. It helps me to recognize that I’m still a sexaholic who must continue to trudge the path of happy destiny, one day at a time.