I have been a member of SA since 1993. I receive a tremendous boost in my recovery by attending open AA meetings. In fact, I attend more AA meetings than SA meetings. Part of that is because of two particular differences between AA and SA: length of meetings, and stating length of sobriety.

The book Sexaholics Anonymous suggests that meetings be an hour and one-half long (p. 177). The AA meetings I attend are only one hour long. I find that SA meetings longer than one hour tend to stay too much in the problem, and go off beyond today’s realities.

The book also suggests stating length of sobriety at each meeting (p. 197). I hear AAs “re-introduce” when there’s been a slip, but I only hear of length of sobriety when there’s a sobriety anniversary, or in a member’s sharing or lead. By stating my length of sobriety at every SA meeting and hearing others, I set myself up for grandiosity, or for heaping more negativity on my already low self-esteem.

The 12-step program of recovery shows me a new way of living. Meetings are very important and integral to my recovery. If the SA program of recovery is based on the principles of AA, I suggest we apply those AA principles at the meeting level as well.

[Ed. Note: In many areas there are a mix of 1 hour and 1½ hour SA meetings. There is variation among meetings on stating one’s length of sobriety, too.]

Dear ESSAY,

I was pleasantly surprised to see my letter under SACFC news in your 2001, Issue Four. It’s an odd feeling to read about one’s foibles and mistakes in concert with one’s growth and healing, but the two are intrinsically linked: without one there is no other.

I have come to regard life’s hardships and obstacles as the greatest opportunity for both psychological and spiritual growth. My life has taught me that when faced with such challenges, I have three choices.

One, I can become immobilized; never to progress any further. The obstacle always remains, blocking any further evolution of my being.

Two, I can run. In which case, the obstacle or life lesson will only return or materialize in some other way.

Or three, I can find the courage to trust and depend on the enlightened perspective of faith — a form of surrender, really. I can face my fears knowing that I will be given the tools and capacity to overcome what looms before me.

Life is all about those choices.

P.S. Our second prison SA group, with twenty new members, is up and running. Thank you so much for your support.

I wish the ESSAY would come more often. Thanks for the efforts — it’s a vital link to us loners. It would be great to see “Loners and how they stay sober” as a theme. Ditto for trying to find someone to sponsor you when one is a loner! I’ve just hooked up with the “Inmate Correspondence Service” and feel some of their approach, guidelines, emphasis and model 1^st letter would greatly benefit loners and maybe save much hassle and heartache.