We all know how far we get in this program if we as individuals don’t have that First Step realization of our utter powerlessness over lust. Nowhere! Have you ever thought there might be such a thing as the group or SA as a whole being powerless over lust? If our malady has been telling us anything, it is that none of us as individuals or groups has the power to conquer lust and create sobriety, joy, and freedom.

My Ninth Step work began in March 1987, and the only reason I had was because there is a Ninth Step in the program. I sent a letter to the firm where I worked in 1972 and added a check for the electronic parts that I had stolen. I made another amends similar to this to the hospital where I had worked in 1974.

“Darkness” and “light” are sometimes used to symbolize things going on inside of us. The song Starry, Starry Night (sometimes known by the title Vincent) is about the painter, Vincent Van Gogh. One of the lines says, “There is a darkness in my soul.” In the story of ET, the space visitor has a heart-light that visibly glows at times.

I’d like to let you know that our son Simon Alexander was born in the morning of October 28th. We…thank God for his everlasting help. My thanks also to SA, which I found in August 1985 and where I learned so much about myself…and about the love and grace of God, who is with me (and was) all the time in good and bad days.

We are hoping one of us can come in December. Our thoughts, hopes, and prayers are with you! We have added a second meeting night, once a month…and hope to continue to grow—slow but sure!

Our group in Wichita is really growing. We have three meetings a week now! With 10-20 at each meeting! We’re not very sober yet, but our group seems strong. I hear no rationalizing that one form of acting out is okay… Everyone’s goal seems to be SA sobriety.

Our Lexington SA group has recently gone to a second meeting per week.… All the fellows in our group sincerely want sobriety and are earnestly striving for it.…

Some groups have expressed the desire to meet with Roy K. if and when that becomes possible; in the following message, he asks for group response.

I benefitted immensely. I got enough courage to share what I had never been able to share in my home meeting.

Enclosed with this ESSAY is a document which is a first for SA—a proposed method for determining a fellowship-wide group conscience. This tells how every SA group will be involved in voting on matters affecting SA as a whole. This proposal must be ratified by the fellowship—that includes your group—before it can take effect.

Just an update on our group at the Medium Security Facility of the Kansas State Penitentiary [begun in May]. We have averaged 17 persons per meeting after two months, with a high of 22.

We are growing and need more books. This is wonderful, but also scary.… We are thankful that you are there to send us literature and strength.

I’ve been in this program over three years and still wonder why I still don’t feel entirely comfortable in a room full of men. Before becoming sexually sober, my obsession/compulsion included both heterosexual and homosexual urges. The former produced a great deal of guilt because of taking advantage of a younger sister and later in life taking advantage of women. The latter produced great emotional difficulties as well.

Contact with others in recovery is our lifeline.

We offer the following for what may be the first in a series of such vignettes SA members may wish to share.

I cannot thank the Lord enough! I…received the grace of living with all my feelings through an attack of lust, where I thought it would kill me. It didn’t, for I…brought it into the open [in the group].… I never imagined such a change being possible, God hearing my prayers so thoroughly!

When calling Central Office, use the new 805/581-3343 number instead of the old 818/704-9854 number when possible. Both numbers reach CO, but there’s a small extra charge when the 818 is used. That is because this was the number at the old location, and the Phone Company does automatic call forwarding on it to the new number—for a fee.

I just can’t wait to tell you and all the SA members what a wonderful Marathon meeting we had on August first. It was a joint session with S-Anon, Rochester, and two of the meetings were joint. God was with us to be sure.

There’s been a change from the Hacienda to the Viscount Hotel for the December 4, 5, 6 SA Convention in Los Angeles. When the Convention Committee saw that the Hacienda’s remodeling would not be done in time as promised, they switched to the Viscount and were amazed to get such a first-class hotel at such a late date.

A Time For Change. That seems to be the theme in this issue of Essay. Change can be unsettling, but it can also be healthy. Growth involves change, and without healthy growth the organism dies. Growing pains are really an opportunity; that’s what life is all about—the adventure of going where we’ve never gone before, within ourselves first, then, as we grow in recovery and unity, the odyssey of the fellowship itself.