I recently attended an open-mike SA/S-Anon meeting. I was looking forward to hearing experience, strength and hope from both groups. As I settled in to listen, however, an SA member approached the mike. He spoke about his childhood, his feelings of not fitting anywhere and his unhappiness with his life before recovery.

It was in a porn magazine, ironically, that I first learned of SA. This new group for sex addicts was mentioned in a short article of the ha-ha-guess-what variety. I did not laugh; it sent a chill down my spine. Two months later a local newspaper carried the famous “Dear Abby” column, and I was one of the multitude who wrote to Simi Valley. I received the SA brochure and a letter inviting me to write again if I wanted further information.

I have been working a program with a few other members of SA from different parts of the country on abstinence from TV and movies. I have been abstinent from these media since June 1, 1996. This has not been an easy surrender. Even though God has removed what was an overwhelming compulsion to utilize these media, I still experience an intense pull from them. When the lust for TV or movies comes up, I am able to pray each time — just as I do with sexual lust — and God has, one impulse at a time, given me the willingness to turn away.

I want to express my gratitude and excitement for the “White Book,” Sexaholics Anonymous. It confirms so much of my experience in what works for me in recovery.

It has taken two years, but our meeting has begun to grow. What started off as two or three of us in the basement of a church in the shadow of the Naval Academy has grown to six to eight committed members. We use a modified book study format and it seems to be working well.

The Chicago Area Retreat Committee and the Chicago Area Intergroup recently hosted their Second Annual Spiritual Retreat for SA members entitled “Pathways to Peace,” based on the theme “The Promises.” The retreat lasted for three days. It was a wonderful chance to spend a recovery-filled weekend with members of the regional fellowship.

Toronto hosted its first SA/S-Anon Marathon Oct. 19. Wow! I was blown away by the honesty I heard and I was uplifted by the strength and hope. I had misgivings going into the day because it was the first time my wife was participating in the program and the first time I was attending a joint SA/S-Anon conference. But by the end of the day, my misgivings had been washed away by a deep sense of gratitude and thanksgiving.

Recently I helped organize the one-day Baltimore-Washington SA/S-Anon Marathon, held this year in Crystal City, VA on Oct. 19. The theme was “Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness.” The meeting consisted of two joint speaker meetings, breakout meetings, couples meetings with a total of 96 members attending.

Our Seventh Tradition — “Every SA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions” — is part of our meeting format. Yet it was discussed at a fellowship meeting at a recent conference that we are not fully self-supporting through our contributions. Only about half of our income comes from group contributions.

When I first got sober I made a firm commitment not to date for at least a year. Every day I had lived expecting the woman of my dreams to show up and magically change my reality. Once I found her I would no longer suffer from inadequacy, pain or loneliness. The world I hated so much would turn into a paradise. Everything would be different from then on.

The Board of Trustees met on Thursday, July 11, and again on Friday with the General Delegate Assembly. Several housekeeping issues were settled first, dealing with the length of service for trustees and delegates. In order to comply with the pending Bylaws, several members resigned dual positions to make room for more representation.

Several years ago the Central Office Oversight Committee decided that the Essay newsletter, which used to be mailed without charge to everyone on the Central Office mailing list, should be put on a “self-supporting” basis, in accordance with the principle underlying the Seventh Tradition. Members were asked to subscribe if they wished to continue to receive the Essay; the charge was set at $7.00 per year for 4 issues.

Tom struggled with sobriety for many years, and by his willingness to surrender to the grace of God, he enjoyed six years of sobriety. He is described by the members of his group in Phoenix as a source of wisdom, with a fatherlike influence.

First, I’ve got to take responsibility for myself. Of the dozen or so loners in foreign countries I know of who have not been able to stay sober and where groups have not formed, there is one fact in common: They never found their Dr. Bob. That is, they never found one other sexaholic who wanted sobriety. They tried to do it on their own or have it done for them in a ready-made group. They did not come to the desperate willingness to reach out to another and try to help them.

After a year and a half in the program, four months of sobriety, and working steps one through five, I began abstinence from a major trigger for me: television and movies.

My journey into sexual recovery started when, after a particularly sordid and degrading sexual experience, I discovered I had crab lice. When I realized this, there was a sinking feeling of terror in the pit of my stomach…. Waiting three months for the result of an HIV test, fearing the worst and wondering — knowing — what the reaction of my wife would be, was the most painful experience of my life.

The Second Australian SA Conference was held over the weekend of May. Some 16 members attended from various parts of Australia. The conference was a milestone for SA in Australia in many ways. One meeting was open to non-sexaholics.

The Wheeling, West Virginia-Steubenville, OH, SA groups (members of the Pittsburgh Tri-State Intergroup) recently hosted their Third Annual Spring Retreat on Saturday, June 1. It was a wonderful chance to spend a recovery-filled day with members of the fellowship.

In Madrid we are trying to live in the solution and not in the problem. Before the regular one-hour Sunday meeting where we read and comment on a piece of official SA literature “to relate our sharing to some aspect of what we have read,” we are having on a trial basis a half-hour Tradition meeting. We’ve already been through several items of Discovering the Principles and are going to start to read Guidelines for Group Recovery, which has just been translated into Spanish.

I was 44 years old, married for 23 years, a father of four children and a successful professional person. Yet there I was, leaving a porno store, disgusted with myself once again. It was hopeless. Anonymous sex had become a daily occurrence. I knew I was going to lose my wife, my children and my profession. I was ready to lose it all rather than fight it one more moment.