Sharing only what happened before and after sobriety, he lets God reveal the degree of happiness through his shine.

We carry the great message to all who have lost hope in coping with addiction to lust. There is the Great Fact for us, and that is nothing more than a “deep and powerful experience” changing everything in our lives.

What does the “Great Fact” look like in my life? Earlier, when I talked about my First Step to a newcomer in the group, I tried to make him understand how I felt at the present time. There are several specific definitions for that in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, including ones like “happy, joyous, and free”. However, in real life, these are just words, and it is hardly possible to describe what lies behind them. Now, I do not talk about how I feel today; instead, I share the story of what it felt like when I was acting out—the feelings of loss, fear, hopelessness, and shame. I tell them about what I have already done in SA and let God show others who I am now. The newcomer can judge for himself whether I am joyful, free, or calm. I simply list the events that occurred to me in sobriety, including multiple job changes, the third marriage, the passing of my father, yearly holidays, and occasional illnesses. All that happened while I was sober.

One day, an SA brother whom I had known for a while called me to ask for sponsorship. He talked emotionally about his relapses and complained that “his” God had been cruel and humiliating for a long time. My initial reaction was to start persuading him that God was different—that He loved everyone and cared about us, and the challenges He gave us were within our strength. “God, help ME convince my suffering brother that he is wrong!” I had something like that in my mind while listening to him. I wanted to do what I thought was right, appear spiritual, and be the rescuer. Someone once explained to me that the power of prayer is not in what I say, but in Who hears it. Though my prayer was egoistic, I was sincere in it. 

The brother then asked what he should do if he was not ready and did not believe in all those things. I didn’t expect myself to answer: “No readiness means that you will die.” The brother hung up on me, and I thought we were not going to talk again. Later that night, he sent me a message saying he was ready to try it “as if”. Since that night, more than 20 people in SA have asked me to help them work the Steps. Today, this brother is the only one who has worked through all the Steps. Recently, I became a “grandfather” when he found his first sponsee.

I do not know which words are right to say to people, but I know well what to ask God. “God, guide my thoughts, actions and words, so that I can be useful indeed.”

Another story from my past came to mind. I attended my second meeting in AA. In the beginning, the meeting leader said that he could not imagine life without alcohol, that he had suicidal thoughts, and so on. Today, I am sure that no one, especially a trusted person, should talk that way in a meeting. But back then, as a newcomer, all I heard was that there was a kind of sobriety where you would rather die than go back to drinking. It was clear to me that I needed to be there!

“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving GOD…” (12 &12 )As in all our affairs. Amen.