Old-Timers Speak — Part I – The ESSAY Magazine

Old-Timers Speak — Part I

At the Jersey Strong conference in Newark in July 2017 there was an Old-Timers’ panel meeting. The speakers with 30-plus years sobriety included Dianne (1987), Margot (1986), Harvey (1984), Mitch (1985), and Tom (1987).

Each shared reflections on their long-term sobriety and things they had learned along the way. Below are their suggestions and wisdom, approximately grouped by each speaker:

Don’t Act Out! We need something better than an orgasm and lust.
Triggers are unexpected and common — just deal with them. Lusting kept happening — even as a sober SA leader.
Do something! Wrinkle all your clothes and iron them. Doing anything will change you.
Have a Higher Power. The solution that works for me is Joy. Just sing the “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” song.
Why do I keep coming back after 30 years? This is mysterious stuff. Desiring to get out of trouble was the motive that got me in. I reached a critical mass of problem and solution.
Sobriety is work! Stay focused. Recovery is peaceful and has integrity. Honesty. Helping others. Use prayer, meditation, self-examination, exercise and discipline every day. We sober SAs are on your side.

Have nerve and courage. Keep your sense of purpose and walk through the fears. Also have faith, trust, relying on God and sponsor.
Live in the solution. I do not go to places I do not belong. Stay away from slippery people, places — I do not open the door to lust and then have to close it.

This is a program of action — sponsor, newcomers, meetings. Prayer is very important. Meditation twenty minutes, morning & night.
Attraction to a new person in or out of SA is normal — worth going through the discomfort.

I have learned to love myself and my Higher Power today. I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. Service work is important — give back to SA and see God in others.

How does one get Joy? Are we Bad people getting Good or Sick people getting Well? Shame is crap and prevents Joy. Shame is giving a middle finger to the 1st Step. I am Joyous knowing all the aspects of my illness!