Old-Timers Speak — Part I

At the Jersey Strong conference in Newark in July 2017 there was an Old-Timers’ panel meeting. The speakers with 30-plus years sobriety included Dianne (1987), Margot (1986), Harvey (1984), Mitch (1985), and Tom (1987).

Each shared reflections on their long-term sobriety and things they had learned along the way. Below are their suggestions and wisdom, approximately grouped by each speaker:

  • Don’t Act Out! We need something better than an orgasm and lust.
  • Triggers are unexpected and common — just deal with them. Lusting kept happening — even as a sober SA leader.
  • Do something! Wrinkle all your clothes and iron them. Doing anything will change you.
  • Have a Higher Power. The solution that works for me is Joy. Just sing the “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” song.
  • Why do I keep coming back after 30 years? This is mysterious stuff. Desiring to get out of trouble was the motive that got me in. I reached a critical mass of problem and solution.
  • Sobriety is work! Stay focused. Recovery is peaceful and has integrity. Honesty. Helping others. Use prayer, meditation, self-examination, exercise and discipline every day. We sober SAs are on your side.
  • Have nerve and courage. Keep your sense of purpose and walk through the fears. Also have faith, trust, relying on God and sponsor.
  • Live in the solution. I do not go to places I do not belong. Stay away from slippery people, places — I do not open the door to lust and then have to close it.
  • This is a program of action — sponsor, newcomers, meetings. Prayer is very important. Meditation twenty minutes, morning & night.
  • Attraction to a new person in or out of SA is normal — worth going through the discomfort.
  • I have learned to love myself and my Higher Power today. I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. Service work is important — give back to SA and see God in others.
  • How does one get Joy? Are we Bad people getting Good or Sick people getting Well? Shame is crap and prevents Joy. Shame is giving a middle finger to the 1st Step. I am Joyous knowing all the aspects of my illness!
  • If I am tempted to lust, I need to be aware of the problem and work the program every day. I need all the help I can get!

Old-Timers Speak — Part II will be in the February Essay.

Old-Timers' Panel — Newark International Convention, July 2017

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