Showing Up for Others

My name is Raphael. I am a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sober by the grace of God and with the help of all of you in this SA fellowship since April 7, 2019.

I recall when my 100-year-old grandmother was in a rehabilitation facility, and my parents were going to go and visit her one winter’s evening, and they invited me. Instead of agreeing to go with them, I opted to stay home. Of course I acted out that evening. She died a few days later.

I definitely have experienced feelings of guilt and shame for not putting aside my own self-centered desires for one evening to provide some company to a sick relative. I never got to say goodbye to my grandmother because I preferred to act out.

Now, in recovery, I do my best to show up for others. It started with showing up to meetings. Once I could consistently do that, I showed up to work the Steps with my sponsor. Then once I could do that, I showed up to sponsor others. Finally, I can show up for others in my life: my wife, children, parents, brother, friends, etc. I actually show up for them, not for myself.

Of course, at this very moment, I can’t actually show up. I’m incarcerated as a result of my acting-out behaviors. But even now, I’m showing up for all sexaholics who don’t believe their disease will take them down to the depths of insanity, prisons, and death. I’m here to share that if I stop showing up, that is precisely what will happen. Thanks for letting me share.