I discovered lust around puberty through a porn magazine and quickly became addicted to masturbation and fantasy women in stories, pictures and eventually clips and movies from electronic sources.

When I discovered SA many years later, I had found a solution but in my heart I did not really want it because I enjoyed the pleasure of acting out. I tried the program to prove to myself that it did not work. I did not become sober, so I eventually quit SA.

Several years later, I rejoined SA and when I really wanted to become sober and could not, I realized that I had just done Step 1. It has been several months now and I have had only a couple of slips since then but my heart is now in the right place, and I am working the Steps. I feel a freedom I have never had and my whole life is better.

I am currently experiencing a transition period where I am very stressed and have trouble sleeping, perhaps because masturbation was a way to relieve that stress previously and now I just cannot stay asleep more than 5 or 6 hours at a time. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the fellowship and for the grace my Higher Power grants me if I turn to Him when tempted, powerless as I am. He grants me the power to stay in His will and I stay sober. Praise God!