The Old-Timers’ panel in Newark last summer was comprised of Dee (1987), Tom (1987), Pat (1996), Mitch A. (1985), Margo C. (1986), and Harvey A. (1984). Part I was in the December Essay.

On Apps and Technology

Harvey – See this little booger (he points to his smartphone)? This could either destroy me or could make my life so much easier. I have a 10th Step app. It takes me three minutes. You just click it. Are you angry today? Do you have a resentment today? You just click yes or no. I have a meditation app, I have a gratitude list app. I have read books on mindfulness, on meditation. Never stop learning.

Overcoming the Draw of Lust

Dee – I had to retrain my thinking. I had to be very conscious of what I was thinking. I had to have huge mental readjustments and rearrangements in my thinking because it is not only physical but it is also a mental disease. The Big Book outlines how to do that. The Steps are simple, they are not easy. I became willing to look at what was my selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, my fear. I asked myself the questions like what was the lie I told myself and what was the truth in this situation? My Fourth Step took a long time. My sponsor kept redirecting my focus back onto me. My thinking was tangled. I was dishonest with and deceiving myself. I had to see my self-seeking, selfishness. I had to learn how to be selfless.

On Knowing God’s Will

Tom – This is a philosophical question in our SA program. What comes to mind is that I have to be in conscious contact with God in order to know God’s will for me. What does that mean? How can I get in conscious contact? We talk about that in the program all the time. The number one thing for me is meditation. When I got into this program, I was already in a program where I had to make a commitment to meditate 20 minutes a day twice a day in order to stay in that particular program. I have kept that commitment now for 30 years. Meditation has been the most uplifting spiritual thing I do in SA. It helps me maintain conscious contact with God. It brings me peace of heart. If I don’t have peace each day, I can’t be in connection with God. Nor can I be in connected relationships with other people.

I have to make sure that my relationships with other people are good and are peaceful and do not cause resentments in my life. I do the 10th Step in the evening and make sure that when I go to bed that evening I’m not carrying anger or anything with me. If I do I may have to make amends that particular night, or at the latest the next day, to make sure I don’t carry my resentments in my heart. To me it is all focusing on my spiritual connection with God. If I don’t have that I really have nothing.