My story is not unique, and for that I am grateful. When I discovered I was a classic sexaholic, I became hopeful, realizing my problem had a classic solution. Hope and honesty were small words in my vocabulary and an even smaller part of my life before I came to SA.
Sponsor-by-Mail Service Keith S., MI, the coordinator of this service, reports that there are currently 177 inmates from 30 states that are being sponsored by 49 SA members. The number of inmates participating in the service has almost doubled since the end of June 2001.
I have been a member of SA since 1993. I receive a tremendous boost in my recovery by attending open AA meetings. In fact, I attend more AA meetings than SA meetings. Part of that is because of two particular differences between AA and SA: length of meetings, and stating length of sobriety.
Brief summary and main motions passed: That this Delegate Assembly approves the inclusion and publication in SA Fellowship-approved literature, the wording “in SA’s sobriety definition the word ‘spouse’ refers to one’s partner in a marriage between a man and a woman.”
Dear ESSAY Reader, Thank you for reading this issue of ESSAY, our Fellowship’s quarterly magazine. Our hope is that ESSAY can increasingly reflect the breadth of sobriety and recovery in SA and also be a “meeting in print.” Here we can share our experience, strength and hope with one another as part of our Twelfth Step work.
I want to share a story with you, just to make the point of how a group like this can change or encourage others. One guy started in our prison group at the second meeting, almost six months ago. He came into the group with a huge chip on his shoulder, and he made it clear to all of us that he didn’t care how anyone felt about him. He was just doing this for himself and no one else.
I said to God, “Look how much I’ve grown.” Then I waited for His reply.
Our recovery calendar page today says, “Gratitude turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.” I am grateful for the reminder how important gratitude lists have been to my recovery from sexaholism. During the first several months of sobriety I wrote gratitude lists daily. My sponsor told me to put twenty items on it per day.
I recently had a major awakening about lust in my marriage. It happened one morning after a night during which I had wanted to be sexual with my wife. In the past, my desire would quickly turn to lust. I would feel as if I was about to explode if I did not have her. Sex was not optional. That night had been different. As I wrote in my journal about it the next morning, I understood why.
If I think about it, life is kind of like walking a tightrope. It’s not easy. It can be dangerous. Still, if I practice, if I use a balance pole, if I have a safety net — it can be done without causing undue harm either to myself or to others.
