I practice no organized religion, but I may refer to specific religious traditions here because of their being examples related to my journey. In November 1985 I stopped acting out by means of chemical castration. This was because of life-threatening behaviors that were occurring as a part of my acting out. There was no emotional or spiritual treatment combined with it.
A few weeks ago, I heard someone from my faith tradition tell a story that really resonated with me, and that I have thought about every day since. I shared it at a meeting and it appeared to touch others as well. Therefore, I am very happy to share it with you.
I have a recovery buddy who recently adopted a dog. Having been without a dog for several months, he was so excited when he was finally able to bring “Leroy Brown” home with him. That excitement was quickly joined by frustration.
I'm a member from the UK and I'm a sexaholic. I acted out with pornography, masturbation, prostitution, adultery, promiscuity, sexualizing men, women, children, animals and objects, voyeurism and exhibitionism, romantic fantasy, sexual intrigue, and emotional affairs. And by the grace of God and the program of Sexaholics Anonymous, I haven't had to do any of that stuff for over 27 years and for that I am incredibly grateful.
I'm driving. My son is beside me in the passenger seat. 80% of his body is covered in rash. He's having trouble breathing. He is going into anaphylactic shock and may stop breathing within the hour, unless he gets medical attention.
In my addiction, lust took over my life. Indulging lust in some way was constantly in my mind. Every day, all day, lustful thoughts were occupying me. I was always looking for opportunities. This preoccupation was driving me crazy.
When you get what you want in your struggle for self...
I was recently asked to write an article for the Essay on Emotional Sobriety. At first my reaction was to say “No.” I wanted to say No because I felt, deep down, that most people in SA have difficulty reaching Emotional Sobriety since they can barely reach “lust sobriety.”
A sexaholic`s life can be very difficult and stressful, especially when a full scale war is going on in my country. It’s so hard to keep sexually and emotionally sober. But it’s possible. So I created a few simple rules for myself, based on 12 step program spiritual principles.
I was blessed with the opportunity to join the SA Fellowship of the Spirit more than eight years ago. When I then joined my first meeting, my sole motive was breaking free from the prison of lust, in the shade of which I had been living since my early teenage years.
