His gratitude list was the hammer that crushed his guilt and shame. I didn’t think I was fearful. I was a strong, tough male who had gotten in fights before and played contact sports like football, hockey, and rugby. So I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything.
An elder member in SA helped him see that he was addicted to himself. “You’re the most arrogant [person] I have ever met!” Although a more colorful word was used instead of “person,” this statement still saved my life.
SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessary Fear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype.
A powerful practice that prevents him from reverting to his past ways. Today everything felt serendipitous. I met a couple who were splendiferous. Ladyewell, near Preston, a Holy Shrine. I met a couple who gladdened my mind.
A letter of experience, strength, and hope to encourage the Fellowship. Dear friends, There is a strong message that was recently shared in our West African SA fellowship.
Our next edition’s theme is “Rigorous Honesty.” The first words in chapter five of the Big Book tell us that recovery is not possible without the capacity to be rigorously honest. What a wonderful gift to know that we can choose honesty for today, and if we are powerless over dishonesty, we can ask God to remove our dishonesty and gain honesty by helping others. We can also seek outside help. The Steps teach me the process by which I can learn to become aware of the truth and to share that truth with others.
Fear prevented me from experiencing healthy guilt. Guilt tells me I have done wrong. Fear also prevented me from feeling healthy shame. Shame is a slight embarrassment that others may see my wrongs. But fear primarily stopped me from facing toxic guilt and toxic shame.
Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.
“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.” My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.
Dear ESSAY, I am an incarcerated person in California. In the past, several of my fellow incarcerated persons and I have held SA meetings on a regular basis, and I've actually had a sponsor before. However, over the years, things have kind of fizzled out, and we no longer have our meetings, mainly due to members being dispersed throughout the system and some of the participants having been paroled.
