God’s love and will in her life are all she needs, and anything else is extra. I grew up with an urge to be a grandmother; I just loved the idea of having a family and children. I would name my daughter after the girl who sits on the last bench in my class. I was in first grade, and I looked at my crush and thought, "If we had a daughter, I would name her after my classmate who's at the top of our class." Cute, right? I chuckle because I was only five when I did this.
He discovered that being single allowed him to devote his whole life to God. I was not put in this program by a spouse. I put myself here of my own volition. I don’t have to get found out or exposed because I have the opportunity to expose and find out about myself here in safety and connection with others, united in fellowship all across the world. I may not ever marry. It is possible that I could live a neo-monastic life in spiritual practice and connection with others under God all across the planet, and I’m okay with that. Lotta pain still, but pain when fully processed becomes wisdom.
Time being single and sober has allowed her to hear Higher Power’s will for her. I have been sober for several years now, and have taken my first steps toward recovery. By “recovery,” I don't just mean working the Steps, but that I am literally “recovering.” I'm talking about healing and restoration.
I broke up with my last girlfriend when I came to the program, after a two-year relationship. The reason was my shocking admission to the truth about myself—that I used her, trying to find a sense of self-worth at her expense, satisfy lust, and not feel lonely. This realization was painful, but honest and therefore healing.
For this June 2025 edition we welcome our newest amateur illustrator An. She has created this issue's Best Caption Contest Cartoon with August's theme: "Happy, Joyous, and ... Single."
When I came to SA at the beginning of January 2021, started working the Steps, and got to know my Higher Power, I thought life would no longer be difficult. As long as we are sober and with God, it can only be good, right?
I am pleased and grateful to share with the Fellowship that there is now a second Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in Manassas, Virginia! While our original meeting has been running strong since 1997, we are excited to announce the launch of the Tuesday Night Manassas SA Group.
(PHOTO # 1 ) On March 10, 2022, Assiut Room held its first face-to-face meeting, thanks to our fellow Ahmed M., who was a wonderful tool used by God to start this blessed journey.
Our next edition’s theme is “Happy, Joyous, and… Single.” We look forward to exploring the joys of recovery while single. Is that even possible? Absolutely. Numerous members who are single for some time or for the rest of their lives live “happy, joyous, and free.” However, ESSAY is your magazine and it is your experience, strength, and hope that carries the message of recovery to the still suffering sexaholic. Please consider sharing your experience with the fellowship by submitting an article to essay@sa.org.
Sponsorship in Prison My name is Blue, and I am an incarcerated person serving a life sentence in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for the crimes of sexual assault. This is the bad news. The good news is that coming to prison was the best thing that could have happened for me, because it forced me to take an honest look at myself and what I needed to do to transform and be healed.
