In recovery, I’ve learned to make prompt amends. In the past, when I wronged someone but did not make amends right away, the wrong would haunt me for days. A quick amends, however, can erase the toxicity of what I’ve done, and often creates a new connection with the other person (as well as with myself).
I like to look up definitions of words that seem important to me in the Twelve Steps. I use a 1934 Webster’s Dictionary that was current when the Big Book was being written. My love of studying these old definitions somehow turned into a love of making drawings based on them.
For me, the Steps and Traditions have been an education in humility. My first lesson came in Step One, when I recognized and admitted my powerlessness over lust. This humility developed further in Step Two, when I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, and Step Three, when I decided to place that Power in charge of my life.
I came into SA when I was 23. In meetings, I would sometimes hear other members share about the tactics they had used in their sickness to isolate themselves from other sexaholics. I related to their tactics—thus making it easier for me to justify acting out.
I started attending SA meetings regularly in October 2006, when I was 21. I didn’t know very much about recovery or the Twelve Steps, but I knew I needed help for my sexual thinking and behavior.
Seven years ago, when I was 29, I came into SA after crossing one of my boundaries: I had an affair with a married coworker. It wasn’t the affair that made me realize I had a problem, however, but the fact that my affair partner wanted to become emotionally attached and I wasn’t interested.
My struggles with sexual fantasy began when I was five years old. I began masturbating when I was ten. But in the summer of 2009, when I was 27, I walked into SA and have been sober ever since, by the grace of God alone.
I had a great experience at the Chicago Convention. I usually attend non-taped meetings at conventions, so that when I get home and listen to CDs of the taped meetings, I feel like I’m attending a second convention!
One day, while I was still active in my addiction, I threw away my pornography collection and swore off masturbation. My resolve didn’t last long however, and soon I was back to my old habits.
Do you know an SA member who is likely to be incarcerated soon? Would you like to help that member prepare for the experience? The CFC offers support to incarcerated members in a variety of ways, including sending complimentary SA Literature as requested, offering a Sponsor-by-Mail program, helping members start meetings in prison, and providing parolees with SA contacts.
