My sponsor here in Wales suggested that I write an article for ESSAY as an indirect amends for some blatant dishonesty from my past. Simply put, during my teenage years, I made up stories about having a girlfriend in order to impress schoolmates, and with the hope of attracting some female attention.
I came into SA two years ago, when I was released from prison after serving four years for indecent exposure. I had been out on parole for a year and had been sober for seven months when I was questioned by a detective for a crime I committed 10 years before.
The Twelve and Twelve says that “... only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength” (21). This is the story of how I came to be utterly defeated, and how that defeat led to liberation for me.
By the time I had sense enough to feel ashamed of my acting out, the allure of lust had its hooks in my mind and heart. As a young child, I became lost in my own private hell: trying to navigate right from wrong, discovering family secrets and keeping my own, and experiencing a growing desire for pleasure.
I am happy to report that the CFC now has approximately $8,000 in named reserve, mostly as a result of the Pennsylvania prison news (see December 2010 ESSAY). This is more than enough money to cover starter kits for all Pennsylvania prisons, so we would like to send White Books to prison libraries throughout the country.
Dear Fellow SA Members: Lately, I’ve been reflecting on Step Three. While working Step One, I faced my powerlessness over lust. In Step Two I came to believe that there is a power greater than myself. Now, in Step Three I must take positive action and give myself to that Higher Power, so that I can be free of my self-destructive behaviors.
The SA and S-Anon members of the Portland-Vancouver metropolitan area invite you to join us for the “Recovery on the (Columbia) River” convention in Portland this July. When you arrive, our local members will heartily welcome you.
I just came back from the Irvine convention. I had a wonderful time!
In the San Francisco Bay area, we started a Friday SA group with the purpose of interacting with prisoners who are part of the local sponsor-by-mail program. We wanted to create a different kind of meeting from our usual White Book “read and share” meetings—a meeting that would establish bonds between SA members in prison and those of us on the outside.
My friend Chris began his recovery from sexual addiction after being arrested in 2007 for a sex-related crime. In 2008, shortly after celebrating one year of sexual sobriety, he learned that he could plead guilty and receive a 15-year sentence, or he could go to trial.
