I came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I've seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings:
“What can we do so that more women attend our meetings? What can we do to support women in SA? What can we give women when they come into our meetings? What are we doing wrong that women leave our meetings? How can we encourage more women in service?”
About a year ago, I was asked to invite members to write articles for another ESSAY edition about women in SA. A few months later, talking about it during breakfast at the International Convention in Krakow, Poland, someone suggested that it would be more interesting to make an issue about women and men finding sobriety together. We are all equal in the Fellowship, and we need each other’s fellowship to achieve recovery as the White Book states in its chapter on “Mixed Meetings” (SA 178-179).
The poignant narrative of Arpita on pages 12-14 underscores that we are all fellow travelers on a spiritual journey who struggle with similar challenges. It’s tempting to attribute our discomfort to the opposite sex, but true insight reveals that the root of addiction lies within ourselves.
Hi, I'm Karin W., a woman sexaholic, and on 27 June '23, I landed in SA. My sobriety date is Sept 1, 2023. I have a SA in-person home group, attend Zoom SA meetings, work the 12 Steps with a SA sponsor and do SA Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC) service work. Also, I'm committed to 'no' dating or getting into a relationship for a year, minimum. Before SA, I wanted to die.
When I first came to SA and heard about mixed meetings (with both men and women), I thought, if everyone has the same brain as me, it’s gonna be quite a party!
I have been in the program since 2010. I have been allowed to be sober for 13 years and am grateful to have been asked to write an article about men and women in the community.
There’s a saying, "Recovery is peace and serenity in the midst of the storm." And Priscilla has known many storms. Today, after more than 30 years of sexual sobriety, she has tools to stay the course during storms.
I’ve been sober since January 7, 2023. That day I took a flight to South Africa (SA), so I literally traveled to a new life since then. God has an amazing sense of humor!
A year ago, I felt apprehensive when I entered my first Zoom meeting because it was mixed. I had a question: How do I stay sober amongst men? What reassured me from the outset was the way the fellows included their sobriety dates when they introduced themselves. But I had no choice in the matter - I had to overcome my fears and keep coming back in order to learn how to stay sober and deepen my recovery, which I did; I continued to attend daily hybrid meetings on Zoom, plus a weekly women-only meeting.
