Time has been an underrated and overlooked tool in my sobriety. When I first came into SA I was struck with the overwhelming difficulty of staying sober. Day by day sexual sobriety was a tremendous struggle. I slipped countless times in my first ten months.
This short piece was performed during the variety show at the SA international convention in Seattle last summer. We weren’t sure what to call it — Poem? Spoken word? Rap? Chant? Prayer? Still not sure.
I attended my first SA meeting in 1988 in Nashville, Tennessee. At the time, Roy had nine years of sexual sobriety. Back then, the definition of “old-timer” was three years of sobriety. Roy was years ahead of the “new” old-timers. When Roy died September, 2009 at the age of 82, he had more than 25 years of sexual sobriety. His life and his sobriety were a gift to us all.
Hi. I’m Hal, sexaholic, sober since August 4, 2018. From 2008 into 2018 I was a “chronic slipper.” Thank God I didn’t quit SA before the miracle happened.
Several years ago at work, a new employee was hired into our section. “Shirley” was a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Besides being beautiful, she was intelligent, witty, and friendly. Quickly, I realized that I was getting a crush on her.
In my experience I have realized that SA is like a flowing river. When a new member joins, the river wants to sweep him into recovery. But nobody has pure reasons when one joins, as it says in the White Book. And so sometimes the newcomer resists the current.
I had always thought my Step 9 would be pretty tame. However, there were three or four moments that struck me with the urge to run away from life as I knew it and never look back. One of these was the day I made amends to my mother. My wife was out of town, and mom invited me to do a BBQ with her at a local park. I had been waiting for a few weeks for the opportunity to present itself, and there it was. I agreed.
So, here I am in anticipation after my long journey Waiting on the hanging canopy swing in the shade of two giant elder pine trees With my son on the side of my sister’s house in Northern Idaho It’s a peaceful summer mid-afternoon with a few fluffy clouds in a high blue sky As my son and I take turns napping on the swing waiting for someone to arrive home
You want 12 Steps, man, now and with no rent just say I can’t [YEAH] and give up your old tent!
As water quenches, Lungs breathe, Mothers nurture, Music soothes.
