I’m Mike, a sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since June 3, 1984. I’m grateful to the members of my home group, who have helped me stay sober for the past 30 years. I’m also grateful for my wife, who probably should have dumped me many times over the years, but for some reason she has chosen to stay. We have a pretty decent marriage today—but it wasn’t always that way.
Last May I attended the Europe and Middle East Region (EMER) Convention and Regional Assembly meeting in Israel. From the time I left my home in Ireland until I returned, I was in fellowship almost the entire time. This was the trip of a lifetime!
I would like to share a few thoughts and feelings—strength and hope if you will—because I’ve heard that only by giving it away can I get to keep it. I recently had a magnificent transformation inside of me, and I really want to keep it!
The best thing that ever happened to me was the day that my ex-wife threw me out of the house, near the end of 2006. I had been through rehab and in and out of SA, and yet here I was again, caught looking at porn online. My wife had had it. Thank God she was willing to give up on me.
When I got sober in SA, I had to learn what healthy sexuality is and how to experience true intimacy. I had never experienced either one for any prolonged period in over 30 years of marriage. My relationship was plagued with control and avoidance. My wife knew something was wrong, but for many years I denied it.
My name is Bill W. and I’m a sexaholic. My sobriety date is November 26, 1995. Until I was 73 years old, I was a chronic relapser. My addiction was costly. I ended up a disgrace to myself, my family, my church, and the religious order to which I belong.
My name is Pat and I’m a sexaholic. Last December I celebrated 17 years as a member of the SA Fellowship and 17 years of SA sobriety. I feel so blessed.
In the Spring of 2001, a fellow was struggling with staying sober from lust. He had tried many ways to stop, including using spiritual tools—but he could not stop. Then in the Fall of 2002 he met another man who also wanted to stop.
My tale begins over 12 years ago. At the time, I observed that—as I walked from my car to a downtown SA meeting—I would often notice the women coming toward me or even across the road or on the sidewalk, and smile at them. Sometimes what I noticed about them turned to fantasy, and I would have to surrender this during the subsequent meeting.
One of the ways I continued in my addiction and acting out was by going to SA meetings (no, that is not a typo!). That was because “going to meetings” was all I wanted to do to stop acting out. I wanted an “easier, softer way” (AA 58). I wanted to design my own program, and that meant just going to meetings.
