My name is Dave, I’m a recovering sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since August 1, 1985 by the grace of God and this wonderful Fellowship. I came into the Fellowship when I separated from my first wife hoping to save my marriage. After two years of sobriety, we still divorced, and by the grace of God, I knew absolutely that I had no business being in any kind of romantic relationship, much less a committed one.
I was unmarried when I entered SA at the age of 26. I got sober and stayed sober though several dates and relationships. I met my wife after 16 years of sobriety. I remained sober through our courtship and 12 years of marriage (so far).
At my first meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous, I heard someone read “The Problem,” and I knew that I was in the right place. In the White Book Roy wrote:
I am greatly honored to have been asked to write the foreword to this issue of the ESSAY on lust.
The chapter in the White Book titled "Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction," is, in my view, a magnificent introduction to the underpinnings of what lust is really all about. In that chapter Roy defines lust as "an attitude demanding that a natural instinct serve unnatural desires" (SA 40). That was certainly my experience.
There’s a saying, "Recovery is peace and serenity in the midst of the storm." And Priscilla has known many storms. Today, after more than 30 years of sexual sobriety, she has tools to stay the course during storms.
How does one become an oldtimer? It is very simple. Stay sober one day at a time, and do not die. Everything else is detail.
I am convinced that the book Alcoholics Anonymous is correct when it says that “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.” Selfishness is a spiritual malady, a spiritual problem rooted deeply in my being. I consider or evaluate everything by how it affects me. My fears are self-centered. A lot can be written about selfishness. It is enough to say that it is what causes my problems.
Roy K. saved my life, just as his inspirations and guidance have helped save most of our lives. Roy gave me hope, something I had lost a decade prior to meeting him. Roy helped me find my soul, my conscience, my humanity, my spirituality, and my Higher Power.
Two oldtimers who knew Jess L. personally share some of their personal experiences about this very inspiring member in this ESSAY interview.
