Whenever I get into negative or obsessive thinking, I try to remember the great promise of recovery from sex and lust addiction as I first experienced it. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when first we learned of something that would forever change our lives, especially something that promised us freedom from a hopeless state of mind and body.
In the Alcoholics Anonymous story Freedom From Bondage on page 552 the woman describes her desperate need to be free of resentment. Her very specific formula of praying for the person or thing she resents really works! This led me to develop the One, Two, Three Waltz. For those unfamiliar with social dancing, a waltz is three steps repeated over and over.
For the sexaholic there is nothing good about obsession. One way to surrender obsessing is singing the Obsession Song. The lyrics are below and the tune is Frère Jacques.
I am humbled by the out-pouring of love given to me on my 30th year anniversary. Sometimes I believe I am a fraud. Maybe one of those fantasies were not a fantasy and I did act out? Maybe one of those wet dreams were not really a wet dream?
I have been thinking about some of the old-timers that I have been blessed to know. When I came into the program in 1990 there were Roy K. and Jess L. and Harvey A. Being from Oklahoma and I was in meetings with her, I knew Sylvia J. There have been some other wonderful people.
As we are present in Germany since 1984 with the first SA group starting in Karlsruhe, we have already translated the majority of the English books, brochures and flyers into German and they are used as conference approved SA literature in German SA meetings.
For many sexaholics English is a second language. I am not a language expert. However, I have noticed that issues arise for SAs using English in readings and discussion. A person’s mother tongue is their heart and gut language. When talking about childhood issues, family of origin issues, in my opinion, this is the language that needs to be used.
Early in Sexaholics Anonymous my sponsor said that “the most important quality for recovery is being and remaining teachable.” After thirty years his statement still lingers in my thoughts every day.
My wife and I were asked to give a SA/S-Anon workshop in Toronto. We planned a vacation around this trip, including driving to St. Louis from Nashville and then continue the drive to Toronto via Niagara Falls. This was a bit optimistic for a 79 year old man, but sanity has not been one of my stronger qualities!
For me this is a Program of action. I use a handful of coins with newcomers as a tool to explain Steps 1 through 3.
