Letter to a Young SA Woman
My dear friend, I’ve been masturbating since the 6th grade and found SA in 2003 or 2004; I don’t remember exactly when. I went to some meetings and then stopped for several months. I came back in 2005 for good.
What’s Going On in SA
In recent meetings by the Board of Trustees and the General Delegate Assembly, the Budget for this year was passed. A copy of the budget for 2007 is included with this issue in the Financial information insert.
Frustration I Know
“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen . . .” This sexaholic is quite grateful for being shown the road to recovery in SA. The examples and sharing of others have shown me that I didn’t have to remain the person I was: I could be rebuilt. That is why I have printed on my checks: “Please be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet.” I am not too old to change my attitude. Let me give you an example.
Our Lives Had Become Unmanageable
This phrase defines my life prior to sobriety and in fact describes it since then as well: my life is unmanageable. Prior to sobriety, I had experienced many, many attempts at controlling my lust myself. These took the forms of confession of my sin, crying out to God to help me keep from acting out, strong resolve to “do better,” and a myriad of other “tricks” that I really thought would work.
Lust
For me, “lust” is the key. Lust for sex, for food, for “things,” for knowledge, for admiring glances, for honors—anything that would make me feel better about myself. While each of these “lust” objects often brought temporary pleasure, none of them would or could provide long-term satisfaction.
Humility
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear…” Over the past six years, my membership in SA has led me to learn many things about life, how to relate to people, how to love, how to share and care.
Fixing Others
I have a problem regarding what is my job and what is someone else’s in a relationship. I am a champion fixer. Recently I realized there are situations I cannot fix: the sponsee who is facing jail time. I didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and can’t cure it.
Freedom
SA’s sobriety definition says “for the single sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind.” It does not say that we endure the endless torture of chastity.
Overcoming Resentment
After my disclosure in 1988, my wife told me to get help or get out. I met with my pastor, went on a retreat, and started seeing a counselor who sent me to SA. I joined. Then my wife told our children that she was asking me to move out.
Poetry Page
My fears cause me to make things bigger Than they are
