There I was sitting at an AA meeting in early Feb ‘84, when a man announced he was starting an SA group in Nashville, TN. I surrendered six weeks later when I met at his apartment for my first SA meeting. Soon we outgrew his apartment and moved to my office building.
Sometimes when I am on edge, I want to take in lust to calm myself. I obviously can’t look at porn or masturbate (or act out with another person). Because I would lose my sobriety and I’d have to disclose my actions to my wife. So my disease whispers in my ear that a “euphoric recall” is the perfect answer. I tell myself, “This will take the edge off my anxiety - and I haven’t taken any action of lust.”
The February edition announced a new practical tool called “The Game.” After a successful pilot project in November with six teams of four members each, The Game was kicked off for the worldwide fellowship on April 4.
One of the most effective Practical Tools is HUMOR. A man in a hot air balloon realized he was completely lost. He was overwhelmed, in despair and utter bewilderment. He saw a person on the ground and yelled down to him, “Can you help me? I don’t know where I am.”
Those of us with a little experience in recovery know the various strategies of the “18-Wheeler” for dealing with a lust hit (SA 157). I would like to add a “Number Zero” to the list. I have learned through prayer and through discussion with my daily sobriety renewal partner that part of the power of a lust hit is in the belief that the object of my lust has something I do not.
Recently, I was exposed to someone who tested positive for COVID-19. I had symptoms, so I called my physician who referred me to a “drive thru” test site for the virus. After the test was conducted, I promptly pulled my car into a parking lot while gripping the steering wheel, feeling so alone and afraid.
All my life I have been surrounded by loved ones with fatal and sometimes incurable diseases. The first person I knew to pass away from a disease was a three-year-old girl named Amy, who died of leukemia. My mother just finished chemotherapy for B-cell Lymphoma.
Hamed describes how he wasn’t making enough use of the tools, hadn’t told everything, didn’t really work the Steps, had his own interpretation of the sobriety definition, etc.
I love how simple this program is. Being someone who overthinks, I start obsessing over what I need to do about this or that. If I make a mistake or don’t do something, I immediately think I’m going off the rails into a relapse. None of that is true. We are practicing 24 hour living. I can start my day over at any time. I can make adjustments to get back on course.
Dear Essay readers, Our Fellowship continues to attract more and more young people from all over the world—men and women who learn from the experience of those who have gone before them and do not have to descend so deep in the bottomless abyss of the addiction. You can devour their stories under the heading “Young & Sober in SA.”
