When I first came into recovery in January 2004, my counselor recommended that I attend a Twelve Step group. The only group in Columbia at the time was another “S” fellowship, so that’s where I went. Then the wife of one of our members founded an S-Anon group when they moved here from North Carolina.
In May 2014, while out of the country on a business trip with my husband, I met a man who disclosed to me that he was a sexaholic. I told him that I thought I might also be a sexaholic, but I was shocked by the sobriety definition. I asked him, “You will never masturbate again?!” I was astounded. I didn’t think that was possible. He told me about his Higher Power, and that there is hope.
As Chair of SA’s International Convention Committee (SA ICC), one of my many blessings comes at the convention “wrap up” meeting. I try to arrive early so that I can watch the members of the host committee filter in. The joy on their faces says it all.
I just returned from the fall Mid-Atlantic Region convention held in Pittsburgh in October, and I would like to share my experiences. For the past two years I’ve been attending SA meetings sporadically. I’ve had periods of sexual sobriety, but lately I’ve had trouble staying sober.
Twenty-five years ago, having had a first spiritual awakening, I embarked on a month-long pilgrimage to Europe, traveling alone. The trip ended in my acting out in a public place, and the final, inescapable realization that I was powerless over lust. This admission brought me to SA.
SA’s French-speaking Intergroup was founded March 2, 2013, and in December 2013 we joined EMER. Currently, there are three French-speaking meetings in Europe: one in Lille, France; one in Brussels, Belgium; and one in Luxembourg. Our meetings are still quite small (five to nine members) so we always appreciate getting input from long-term SA members from other countries.
I came into SA in May of 2010 and have been gratefully sober since August of that year. At each stage of sobriety and recovery, I feel my vision is changing. Over the past couple of years in SA, I’ve noticed many paradoxes (also called apparent contradictions) that serve as the foundation for my continued growth in recovery. I believe that the potential list of paradoxes is endless, but following are some I’ve come up with so far.
Is my life better today than before I surrendered to God and started working the SA program? Absolutely! Is my life in sobriety what I imagined it would be like? Absolutely not. I certainly did not know the extent of the changes I would need to make when I started working the Steps.
I have sponsored and been sponsored. Long-sober members often describe their sponsors with reverence. But if they talk long enough, they sometimes admit that the person who first helped them get sober is no longer sober themselves.
It’s 4:23 a.m. as I write this. Before getting up to write, I had lain in bed for half an hour processing a close call. The close call was not the trip to the emergency room we made the night before, when my daughter needed medical attention.
