I’m Dennis and I’m an alcoholic. I’m sharing with you in this issue of ESSAY because I have the extraordinary honor of serving you as a trusted servant—as a Class A (non-sexaholic) Trustee. I’ve believed for some time now that trusted servants are those who earn the trust of those they serve, rather than the other way around. With that in mind, I would like to share a bit about myself, in the hope of earning your trust.
My name is Tom M.; I’ve been sexually sober since December 2007. As I work the Steps and continue in the SA fellowship, I find that my life is so much better. An important part of my recovery has been the serenity prayer. A key concept of this prayer is that I need to “accept the things I cannot change”—and, since I can change very little around me, I need to focus on acceptance.
I’m now eight years sober, thanks to the grace of my Higher Power, the help of my sponsor, and the encouragement of program meetings. I have not seen many beatific moments in my recovery, but there has been steady, plodding growth as I work my program one day at a time.
This autumn, I’ve been raking leaves in the yard and on the driveway. As I pull the piles of leaves together and get ready to put them in the wheelbarrow, I find the same refrain running through my head: “I want to quit doing this!” In practice, I just keep raking.
Hamburg, Germany at Christmastime! I had the good fortune to visit this beautiful city in early December, as part of a trade delegation of about 35 folks—mainly elected officials, business people, and government types from our region.
Dear God, A simple and profound “Thank You” for this gift of sobriety (as defined in SA 191-193)—for in the middle of a daily task, I am struck with simple and utter gratitude for not having acted out for the past nine months.
Before I came to SA, lust was destroying my sense of self. My lust was always self-directed. I could fool myself into thinking I was finding fulfillment in an image or in another person, but only God could fill that hole in my soul.
I’m Mark, a sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since April 27, 2002. I would like to share about the disease of sexaholism in my life—but mostly I would like to share about the solution I’ve found in SA. And I would like to tell my story by walking through the Steps.
I just returned from the Russian-speaking Convention held in Moscow on November 22-24. What a great experience!
When I used to nourish lust thoughts, there was something going on inside me we might call spiritual fornication. Within my spirit I was shutting God out in rebellion, perverting the reality of the lust object to suit my sick need (splitting myself to create and then imagine that inner partner), and then having sex with her, which was really having sex with myself.
